yea promotion

yea i totally got my promotion today! yea i am officially the lead signing associate for both the women's and home store! which means a pay raise and more responsibility! so that totally made my day! also i have been babysitting my friend's dog sweetpea, while her dog walker is having the flu, bumber for her! that's okay for me because i get to have three dogs for the afternoons! i totally feel like i am a mom with kids, but i have dogs! so all is good and i'm making chicken with mushroom sauce and cheese tortellinis's and olive french bread! so exvited about that! yummy and i am so hungry!

may i blow smoke in your face?

so i as i was enjoying my first break at work on tuesday, with 2 fellow employees. we were sitting on the bench really enjoying our cigarettes. when at 7:30 in the morning in the front of macy's a car pulls up. then pull up to the curb and 2 older gentlement get out of the car. one girl goes, don't tell me, it's jehovah witness'? low and behold, it was they started greeting us, then preaching about the miserable suffering we endure in this country. they offer some literatur, one accepts, i refuse as does the other girl. we does this politely, thank you very much. then they continue to preach about jesus. then the other man opens up with have you heard what the pastor said about the shottings in our area recently, we had a mass murder in skagit county about 10 miles north of here, to five miles south, 6 died and 4 injured, very devestating. the one girl says, you are in the wrong place to be talking about what we have heared, about the devestation in our communities. we realize what happened, we don't need to be preached about the devestation, thank you very much. they accepted and turned to their car and drove away. interesting, we thought the audacity to approach people sitting out in front of a mall early in the morning to preach, very odd, i thought, actually i found it rude. i like to go to preachers, them not come to me. my comfort level may be different then others, but this was just odd.

work, ahhhh! enuff already!

ahhhhh.... i am really frsutrated right now. i left work early this morning. i have worked 8 days in a row, getting up early each day, working the one day sale. really stressful,i feel like i don't have a life at all. by the time i get home with all the things i have to do, then it's dinner time and go to bed and get up and do it all over again. no down time, bad for erin. i really haven't had 2 days off in a row in like 3 weeks. ahhh. so i told my supervisor i need to know how many points i have for my attendence, and she asked if it was because i wanted to leave. she assumed it was because i didn't want to process on the dock. well, i don't mind it, it's not my favorite thing to do. none of the other girls had to work that many days, and most of them took pto's or called out, so i am stuck doing the work. wtf. then she had to lecture me on how my attitude affects getting a promotion and my willingness to be positve regardless of the duties i am given. well, duh. but i need a day off i need to relax and just be with my self, my stuff, my family, dogs, my people, just my self. i am jsut too overwhelmed and starting to be bitchy. not good for me or my coworkers. so we'll see. the other girl who applied for the lead signing position has been their for almost 5 years. so, she said that if she doesn't get the position, she is going to quit. whatever, so many people just not happy, i guess. i just belive that i deserve the poisiotn, because of the hardwork, and the fact i have been signing the whole store, basically by myself for a while. i really want the promotion,i belive i can get it.so on monday i am goign to express my feelings taht i have stated her to my supervisor and hopefully i can get this off my chest and getsome feedback from her on it. so i am home and now my ear is starting to hurt, probably due to the guilt for leaving early.

i am back!!!

so fellow bloggers, i am officially back from the brink of non existence. so if you haven't hear i broke the computer we just put in our room, i was exchanging the monitor and i pulled the connection too hared, i didn't realize that it was screwed in. so tony took it to get fixed and i guess is was connected to the motherboard, wtf. but, since it's a pretty new computer, they could bypass that and just put in a new media card, so yea, not to spend either! so i am no longer messing with the computer. i am onto day 3 of 8 again. wtf, i just want to scream sometimes, just to sleep in and have nothing to do, i wish i could do this! but when i get it i don't know what to do with myself. so i guess i just have to deal with life and just work. i also applied for the lead signer position, which gives me 40 cent raise and a guaranteed 30 hours a week, which will up my benefits to full time, yea! i would be in charge of the signing for both stores, training, organizing and workload schedules, which i do basically for the womens rtw store. so that's a plus, i don't know if anyone else will apply, but my manager told me to apply for it, so i guess that is a good thing. the doggies are doing well, i found out that teddy is not fully vaccinated, so we have to get that taken care of, piss me off. but, it will all taken care of. so i need to go to bed soon, and go to work. so there i blogged. good nite!

I am a morning person now, wtf?

so it has come to my attention, that when the sun goes down and as i wind down, i have a few friends who possible stay up later than i. because i am old and go to bed early. i just want to say that it is nothing personal, no against anyone, but i am so tired sometimes that i just don't have anything to say or cannot keep up a conversation on the phone. i just don't have the inclination to be enthusiatic. i am sorry for this! i apparently am a boring person past 9 at nite. so when you do call and i don't really have that much to say or do not seem interested, that's because i am tired. i want to talk for like hours, and reminice about everything and hear everyone's new stories and talk about life and boys and stupid shit. but i just can't that late at nite. it's really bothering because their are certain people i don't get to talk to that much and when i do i feel like i cannnot give my full attention. please don't be mad and hate me. i miss you all and love you so much and want to be knowing of all your things. i just have so much going on and stuff to get ready for the next day, that i am constantly not that exiting in the evening. so if you call early in the mornings, or the afternoon i will be super excited. i keep going on but, i just wanted you to know that i am hear and you do matter! to me to me!

good times!

so i am super excited! we officially have a computer working with internet in our bedroom. our own personal computer we don't have to share with anyone, or worry about people bitching about what we do on the computer! yea. i need to get a new printer compatible with this computer, but in due time! it started being really frustrating becausei couldn't find the cd for programming our usb adapter, we tried downloading it onto this computer, customer service all that crap, so we just bought a new one, and well, here we are! yea i am so excited. i am also really happy because my new dog is doing very well, adjusting to his life, i have learned to be less up tight and no worry so much about what bad he is doing or where he is all the itme. which led to him just being curious, and not really getting into trouble, no peeing in the house, no show biting, and well really liking the water. we have a pond in our backyard, like a waterfall one that is landscaped and stuff, he plays in the waterfall, goes into the pond and tried to get bugs and drinks out of there. hasn't gotten any of the koi or goldfish yet, so let's hope he doesn't eat sharron's fish! he also loves to be out in the rain, what a weirdo. it's all good, he's adjusting and enjoying his freedom. as for my brucey. well, he is such a big baby, craves cuddle time with all of us, still a little jeoulous, but always my baby, he sleeps on my side! and tony has his little baby. and brucey is still not liking the energetic part of teddy, so when that happens he barks and barks because he wants to play. silly little dogs, i love them both so much and want more. ahh i have a pomeranian addiction!

week 1 of august 2008!!!

so i am putting up a new blog, i have been super busy these past couple weeks with the new dog and all, he now sits, goes out the doggy door, doesn't pee, unless, it's by something new, so we don't put new stuff down onto the floor, i am getting the rest his papers tomorrow after work, fianlly. and some of his toys and crate, so its just been hectic, walking and playing and grooming, not just one but two stuck up self centered pomeranians, i think that's just their nature, it's more like that have attitude and just want to do what they think that should do, kind oflike a cat, but they come to me when i call them. and work, well, it's been hectic, the new girl quit, so here i am again, doing it by myself, and it's one day sale next week, ahhh! i got a new computer in my room, it just needs internet hook up so hopefully soon! and it's warm here, too warm for my liking , i need it to be like 65 at the most all the time and i would be totally temp happy! oh and bruce is a little jeoulous of teedy, but that's too be expected. it works out, and bruce definately tells you he is there, and teddy well, he doesn't bark only when he wants bruce to play, so like once a day if that. also, he totally drools excessively in the car and now i think he is afraid to go for rides. i have to work on that, abecause he has to get used ot it. so wish me luck and prayers for this! oh and tony is back working and got a raise, so yea! we can get caught up on bills and stuff and totally start saving! love you all and have a great first week of august!

Teddy

So this is a picture of Teddy. He is supper cute, 9 months old, pure breed akc certified male, unfixed pomeranian. he is lots of dk. borwn lowlights, and cute little white back toes, and one one toe nail, the other are all black. his right front paw is a little crooked so i wouldn't be able to show him i think professionally, because of the paw, so i think if i the trial week goes well, and i get to keep him, i will definately get him neutured. then he will be less likely to take off, piss on everything and just get lazy and fat, then it's up to me to walk them all the time. just as long as bruce puts up with it and isn't all butt hurt. so wish us luck and a few prayers and positive energy waves thrown my way, because i really like this dog and he needs a good home. oh and another plus he is free!! which he is actually worth like 500-700 dollars, wtf! but i would have a pack of dogs and other animals if i could. so yea!!!

the end of week 3 of july 2008

So i made it through 7 days of nonstop work at macy's. it ended with me working like 2 extra hours yesterday, and on top of that we had a visit from the head honcho and another managment team from seattle. wtf. stressed and went 4 hours with out a break or a smoke. that sucked! but all is good, the rents got home from another vacation, took us for sushi and habachi, we have a new restaurant in town! yea it was awesome, and green tea ice cream rocks! oh and the new girl at my work is very cool, we have a lot in common and i think we are going to hang out this weekend and go shopping or something silly! which is great, i love getting new friends that i can totally relate to and have fun with! and maybe getting another pomeranian, his name is teddy and he is black and medium size, about 4 years old, i believe, i might meeet him this weekend, and them introduce him to bruce. then he would have to come over here and stay and see how that works out, i don't want to bring another dog in unless i know ti will work, and you know more attention taken away from bruce, well, that
s another story. it will cost more like to go to the groomer every month, the vet, walking, food, treats. i kind of didn't take that into consideration until today, after his parents said i could get him if bruce is okay with it and he can learn to use the doggy door and stay in the yard, so we'll see. and i started my walk this morning. got up at 6, showered walked up hill to the end of the sidewalk the main road from my neighborhood, a good 45 minutes. i have eaten 2 apples already today and lots of water, and i am going to do this, get healthy, loose weight and stick to it, while keeping up on being active! i need to do this and i will, so i think today i will put up my inspiration board. so i am off for 4 days, if anyone wants to call, i'll be ready for some conversation! but, if it's past 10 i might not answer at nite, i am lame and an old person, i go to bed early! sorry folks, i have been officially brainwashed! the end!!!

hello, week 3 of july 2008

hello... world... hello people... i am alive...sometimes... maybe blurly... a little lost.... don't know what to say... so this is my blog... goodbye

another day... can i get a slice?

well it's tuesday afternoon and it's actually starting to cool down a bit, it's been really warm here, i had a great 4th of july, i should put up pictures, i will do that soon, i suppose. i had to work the next morning, so i was really tired. so me and my sister vegged all the next day. tony played poker with some buddies, so kelly got to finally experience some thai food with me! yea it was great and i got her to eat tofu! so i don't have to work tomorrow i am really tired, just finished a romantic novel by nicholas sparks, i am a junkie for his books, but they are so good and easy to read, just love them it only took me a day to read it, was that good! alicia you should read this one! i just love reading about people and the intriqit details, is that how you spell that word, intriquite? mmm not for sure, that's a first i am always good at spelling. oh well. so i am just chillin at home. drinking some tea, my financial aide for school isn't going as planned, the whole married to a retard part of my life i can't seem to get rid of is catching up with my real life. but, that too will pass and be over soon, i am going down this week to file, again. other than that i want pizza for dinner, i have been working a lot, i know i don't sound enthusied, because i am not. just hot and kind of moody, for whatever reason. i just thought i would say hello. maybe i will have more to say later tonite.

blue jays once again, ruined it all...

I knew from above that i would be, a person of light and dark, from the breathe of might. No one can take me away from that. okay so i thought i had a poem going for me but the blue jays are squaking outside my window. they taunt me you see. is it wrong to hate the blue jay? Tony thinks that it is my spirit guide. but, why? mmmm?

May your wings be spread, with the gusts of light, that descend upon you from heaven above.
May you fly so free, from the gust of winds, that keep you grounded in pain.
May you smile so brightly, from the kiss of life, that spins in your soul.
May you tread ever so lightly, upon the ground you walk, from this is where I come to you.

week 3 of june 2008

so it's a new week, i plan on going to the college tomorrow to get signed up for school. hoping that i can get a pell grant, depending on my marital status, it might affect it, so pray for me to get one! also i have tomorrow off from work, which i desperately needed for some reason. besides, the school thing, i just need time to myself. sarah's last day was today, and we still don't have anyone new to help me. so maybe i need this time to reflect how i handle stress and the duties, i need to perform well. i pray for this week to be effortlessly wonderful! also, the rents are out of town for a while and that's nice too. like tony and i have our own place and we just get to be, i love it like this! soon, we will get to have it like this all the time! SOON! well, i am also looking forward to this weekend, i think we might go to the drive-in, i hope i get to see get smart, it looks like it will be really funny! last weekend i saw sex in the city, agiain! my friend, sabrina, hadn't seen it yet, so obliged, and went! i love the series and the movie and carrie is my favorite, so if you haven't gone, you should, because it is friggen awesome! well, i am just blabbing, to blab. tomorrow will be productive and worthwhile! thank you!

new haircute!!!

So i am finally putting up pictures of my new haircut. i am totally loving now that the girl from my work fixed it. it has lots of layers in the back and the side, i don't know if you can tell too much. but all i have to do is blowdry it and a little straigtening in the morning and i am good to go. it's nice having a haircut that doesn't take so long to prepare. it is a little short for me. but i love it, i have a little style to it and it's great! oh and this is the silly picture of me and tony it 's great that i can still be in love with this man after 4 years. he knows me more that i know myself sometimes, and for him to be around and be as silly as in the beginging. well, i love it!

educate yourself!

I just got done watching and incredible movie. Charlie wilson's war. if you haven't seen it yet, well you should. so many things are happening to us now, because of these situations. did you know that because we skipped out so soon from afghanastan in the early eighties, did not help them rebuild and support them after we gave so much, that is the reason why they hate us so much over there. i mean, they think we are satan. we gave them weapons and trained them, so they could fight the soviets. then as soon as we acoomplished it, that was it. that their were men in congress who didn't give a fuck about fixing schools, and housing for these people. it amazes me that we haven't been fucking bombed by everyone. that is why we are where we are in the war with the middle east. i can't believe that just some help and support after all that money and pushing to get that accomplished and we backed out. we ended up with 9/11 people we love and know going to war, and we wonder why? well, that's why because of politics, because we as a nation are not informed. well, maybe we all shouldn't be. i am done with that, i need to make a difference somewhere, i need to know more. i need to know that i can count on my government to stand up for me and my needs. and it doesn't matter what party you go for or how much the candidates say pretty things anymore. it comes down to this. who do you think is going to make the difference, push us to the limits as people with information, to help our situations. it's just not a few, it's all of us, we need to be educations on international affairs. what can we do for our country?

if only the leaves fluttered ever so lightly, would i hear your voice?

so sometimes i may not be what you want me to be. sometimes i am what you always wanted. sometimes i am everything that you want to be. and sometimes i am never going to be quite like you. but, right now , i am me ever loving, ever changing, and ever questioning. my right as a person, friend, lover, and everything before and after. i am curious as to why you are the way you are, curious as to why i am this way to you and everyone else. what does it mean to me? well, what does it mean to you?

life is like a box of chocolates....

so once again i have had the ever popular, back that goes out while making your bed. with a dose of let's crawl on the floor to the b.r. and to the computer to get the phone only to realize it was in the bedroom all along. whf.i am doing better now, i can stand up straight, which this time, my back problem is different, i couldn't straighten my back and when i did it looked like i was dragging my leg side, like my stupid hips were out of place again, which last time was a main cause of my back problems. so now i reviewing my health insurance in the midst of changing over to hmo, can't decide what to do, mainly because i have no idea what they are talking about, so my friend sabrina who is the h.r. person for shell refinery, is going to help me this weekend, they sent all the info on cd's so that will be helpful. then next week i can get into a pcp see about and mri and figure out wtf is up with my back and have a diagnosis so i can continue with a treatment plan, hopefully just chiropractic care and not steroid injections, or surgery, or anything remotedly scary. so with 2 days off from work, with pto, i slept organized part of my life, and continuing on with a plan., now on to the next plan of schooling, is nursing goign to be appropriate with my back problems, or the hell with it contiue my plan and just see how it goes, i like the later. so that's my week. i work tomorrow and not again until monday. wtf, my life is like a box of chocolates, i fucking have to eat every piece, make my self sick, throw up and wonder why i ate them all, because it happens everytime. funny eh?

fun times, fun times!

so i am up late, i don't have to work in the morning, not until monday morning. i found the link for the secret thing, that is pretty interesting. i needed help on finding it, thanks kelly. so i have a pretty busy weekend coming up. i am going to my first pilates class with my friend lizzy tomorrow. i haven't hung out with her much because she has been doing her internship in seattle for an architecture business, so we are doing healthy gym things while she is working more at macy's . i go to the same gym as her, sarah, and sabrina. it's fun having new friends, sometimes. get new views on life and such things, and relearn what it's like to have a friendship with people in your own state. no offense to my awesome girlfriends, but i have been needing new good, honest and positive people who i can actually visit with. so after i do my new pilates class, i am letting in a maintence guy to sabrin's house, so he can paint something, while she is at work. while i am waiting i am getting thai food from sarah's other work, i love it their, i had spicy basil chicken last time and cocunut sticky rice for desert. delicious! then i am goign to rent p.s. i love you and watch that tomorrow nite! then on saturday i am going to get jean so we can shop for jerei's graduation gift. then we are going out for dinner probably. then on sunday i am going to get her again then we are driving down to seattle for jerei's graduation. it will be so exciting, i am going to take lost of picture even though he will be like no stop whatever, i don't care, stop taking my picture, you crazy lady, that i have known forever, but forget to talk to. he is silly and i am so glad we have gotten back to talking again, we have been kepping up on talking at least once a week. and it is like you said, kellly. even if you have lost contact for a while, we just pick up like we left off and it was only yesterday. it's so awesome and special. so my weekend is pretty busy and even though i complain that i am busy and don't have time just to be. well, i take that back, because i was home all day today, expect for going out to get my weekly latte and to the store, i had nothing to do today, but watch t.v. and now that i think about it, i could have done a million things. but really it is nice just to have nothing to do, or at least pretend, as i did on this really rainy day in washington. so for some reason i am type happy today and can't manage a phone conversation, sorry kelly i am totally discombobulated sometimes! i just need to breathe and focus on the better and be grateful, that i have people who want to be my friend. i just need to put in the effort just as much back. oh and the reason for this other new and long blog, i actually sewed up my pants today. all by my self, it was frustrating and took me forever to thread my needle, i did it and i did it well. i was damn proud of myself. i think my sister will be too, she won't have to sew my crap up any more. so yea, i accomplished another thing that i was saying i can't to, because i am easily frustrated, and i don't have patience. it's funny when you just do it because well, you have to. it just keeps getting easier and easier. soon all of my confidence levels will be up and i will accomplish everything i set out to do!i am really thirsty now. i need some water! i need to drink more i have only had like 2 today. well, another habit i need to set. it only takes 21 consecutive days, to set a habit. i read it at my gym. so that's a fun fact for the people out thier who seem to not get all their goals accomplished on time. so i should get water and go to bed, because i am sure tony will wake me up at 5 to fix something like lunch or breakfast, just to be a butt and these long blogs will stop. i mean it's not so bad i just feel like typing instead of talking. ... m&m's have a new ice cream treat and it looks like a giant m&m, i want to try it! good nite all!!!

entrapment? free at last? content? what should i chooose?

as i am sitting here in my computer room, knowing that i need to put up a new post, because my situation from last week is definately over. i am pondering on exactly what has gottem me this far and what i have accomplished and the things that i really don't care to share with others that have gotten me this far. especially finding out about secret,com( the idea is kind of cool). so here i am wondering what interesting insights or ideas have have conjured up this week. well, i have been busy with work, daily life, i have been not sleeping well and napping a lot during the day, man 4 in the morning comes really fast. and sometimes my days at work, are really long.
really what i want to talk about isn't what i am doing this week or anything in particular. just about life, and how it moves and doesn't and what i really need to do, to move along and become a part of my community and a life force for my family. yea things are how they are and the past is the past, but right now i am just me. with tony at his parents house living harmonily. as much as it can be, getting ready to sign up for school, haning out with new people. getting my self go to the gym. just staying busy and loving it, it makes me feel gracious and accepted and knowing that i don't need constant approval to know that i am a good person, a great friend, and a loving girlfriend, an awesome sister and a blessed daughter, and a forgving one at that, and and happy granddaughter. i am all these things, becuase all of those people are a important part of my life. yes people come and go in this life, well because they do, maybe less at sometimes and more at others. maybe i have lost trust with others or we just don't have time and that's ok, because it happens for a reason. i remember someone telling me that it's cute that i think we should still all be really close friends. well, it did hurt, but i realized, i do live in my past, because i haven't really made a present for myself. well, in the past months of working again, and making really friends that are positive, happy and willing to partake in activaities that benefit ourselves, i have realized that i do have a great present and i am pursuing for a great future. i will get there and it is going to be awesome. no doubt there will be hard times, but i know that whatever i do i will have lived out a great life, so when my times comes i am ready and because i don't have a choice. i may not be completely prepared, legalities and such. but, that's life and i love it. i would like to change certain aspects of my life, and sometimes my past, but i know it would definately change now, and i just accpet and never regret my past, because it has gotten me to where i am today. but a question i have to ask is just because i do have a past with certain peopel to i need to always have them in my life? their are lots of peeps out there that i don't always have completely contatct with, but with the help of myspace, well, we all know how that is. but i sometimes find that the people you keep in your life they are there for a reason, to grow and ponder with, i love that. to meet every couple of years, ponder our accomplishments and have laughs at the past, isn't that what family is for. well, maybe not everyone feels that way. i don't know, but i just hope that i am not keeping friends just because it's an obligation and i hope it's not the other way around. i want real viable people in my life. to count on and be a part of eath other's lives for as long as possible. doesn't it matter that we only talk once in a while, that maybe we are closer to others' and not so much with everyone, i don't know. i just love that all of my friend past, present and future will all hold a diffent value to me. also that my love for tony is growing everyday. we have our downs, i have a mean streak that i am definately working on, tony likes to provoke my anger, but recently we have calmed that down, with our sex life calmed down with that, which i just realized and that's a little weird. but we need to find a balance and get out fo the clouds. so my goal of going to school is goin to move us forward and into our own place, and ever going goal that i need to pursue along with my divorce behind me! it will happen and i can honestly say that i want to spend the rest of my life with him, but maybe i am kind of like samantha in the movie sex and the city, i have to constantly put that behind me. i love all people, but i need tony in my life, he completes me life no one else has, but sometimes my desires have a tendency to run out of control. that's why we stay home and don't drink out because i like to play a little too much. i guess it's good that a certian someone doesn't live here anymore, because that was going to far too. okay enuff of this talk. but i just want all of you girls to know that i love you for who you are and will be and always, and i hope you can do the same for me!