Awakenings

So I need to talk about what happened to tony and i on saturday. we were coming back from the grocery store on the way to my dad's, when we witnessed something very traumatic. we were like 4 or 5 cars behind in line, when a black suv, didn't yield, and a mini van got hit. the suv, fell right on it's side. And i saw the whole thing and screamed oh my god, tony. We immediately pulled over and got out. i started running to see if anyone needed help and tony called 911. There were so many people at the scene that i just stayed back a little. It was amazing to see people just pull over and help this family, they all got out the back and safe, no one was terribly hurt, just scared and the lady in the minivan, i think she was hurt even more. It was amazing to see all the help and concern. The angels were definately watching over them. I just felt so sad wand worried and just wanted to cry for their sake, i realized then, that i am so emotional. Even when it comes to watching t.v. i cry when happy, sad, upset or even when others cry and it happens more and more. But at least tony and i were safe and the others involved were. It was just a shock to see that, ya know. it reminded me that we need to slow down, a little bit more and pay attention!.
Also, i may be getting my real estate license. tony's mom asked if i would be interested and i could help her and be her assistant. Wouldn't that be cool! i think it would so i am going to go for it, why not. i would be helping her with listings, research on the computer and running around and stuff and getting to know the ropes for selling houses, from the best. yea i think this might be actually cool.! so wish me luck on this one. It really is amazing how many options i have been given, i just need to go for one, and give it my all!

it's in

I have officially sent in my chickeny shroom pattie recipe into food network. if i win i get to go to new york and present the recipe on the food network and a chance at 10,000 dollars. i almost had an axiety attack when i pushed the button to send it in. so wish me luck, it's just so exciting to share with the outside world something i created. This time i hope it gets recognized, even a it sounds like a good recipe would be great! yea wish me luck.oh and if you are in for a challenge i have a new blog up http://h2ointake@blogspot.com, it's good for your health!

Goodness

Well, i made the chicken dish i wrote. Some changes definately had to be made. First of all since when does fungus need to cost 7.99 a pound, that's how much the portabella's were. Insane, so i bought button mushrooms. 3 lbs. sliced for bucks. it worked out. i decided to fry the patties, since i made them really flat and i covered them in a little sprinkle of dry bread crumbs and parma cheese. They turned out so good, i also used all fresh herbs, that definately made a big difference. so i sauted the mushrooms with herb olive oil and fresh thyme. The sauce came out good, too! Everyone loved it! So i took pictures and i think i am going to send the pictures in to food network, because they are having a contest for the best recipe and i think you win money and a chance to be on t.v and show how to do your recipe. how cool would that be!
Anyways, i think i am gonna suck it up and apply to be a bank teller. it will be good money and good benefits and i guess if i move i could do the same thing down there. and if i don't them well i have a good job here. so i guess i will some how decide that soon? i know i am being very unaware of the good opportunity. i just don't see myself doing that, ya know. and now @#$# thinks i should be able to go to work like now, but i really need to heal a little longer, or i will wind up where i was before. So we will see. i just need to buckle down and know that i deserve to have everything that i want and have the best job that i can do. that's all there is to it. so why do i keep telling myself that i can't do it. i know , i just don't want to. i want to be the poor victim. well, it's going to stop. i am tired of being the victim of myself. it's stupid. and i will. i will do good and spread the goodness all around. it will be what it is. love much and forever peace!!!

Where did it go?

As i was sitting outside and happy that it had stopped raining. It was beautiful yesterday and well now it's icky. I realized something. I didn't feel any pain. Not in my leg, my back, my butt, or even leg. I haven't hurt all day. Too busy doing other things. I even drove down to get a coffee. I do feel sore in my neck and shoulders, that's because I have been sitting up and down all day, and not doing my usual of by this time lying down to relax. I even made up a new healthy recipe!

Chicken porta sandwiches

1-2 lbs. ground chicken meat
1 sm. onion or shallot-finely chopped
1 garlic clove-finely chopped
1 tsp. dried thyme
1tsp. dried parsley
1 egg
salt and pepper to taste
Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Roll into small balls and flatten thinly as you would a hamburger. You want them sort of small and flat so you can have more than one.
4- portabella mushrooms
Clean these and toss them with olive oil, salt and pepper.
Grill the mushrooms and the chicken patties.
When they are done cooking. Stack 2 chicken patties atop one of the portabella mushroom tops. Cover with this dressing:
1/2 c. mayo
1/4 c. red wine vinegar( or any vinegar you like)
Fresh parsely and thyme and parsely ( dry if you that is what you have)
Salt and pepper to taste.
I would usally serve this with a salad of cucumbers, tomatoes, and red onions. These ingredietns can be covered in olive oil and salt and pepper and even the fresh herbs from the other dish. Yummy and healthy.
I know some people think oil is fattening. But it is like the best oil for you that has good flavor. Because it kind of binds the flavors together, that i really enjoy. I haven't tried this yet, but tomorrow i will. So let's hope it turns out good!

ITS ON

So i am officially sending the bag off today. it's so cool. this one is a dark grey with a tribal celtic heart on it, all the bags have different designs for each color. it's still groovy. so i hope you girls enjoy this and we need to set up a group blog for this that way we can comment in one blog! kudo for kelly on that one! i put some neat stuff in there so feel free to do whatever and i put some pieces of jewelry so maybe somebody could make necklace or put it on the bag, whatever have fun with it! and again we are keeping the bag for up to 2 weeks, that way we all get it sooner, so we can check it out! yea sisterhood of the traveling bag, it's on!

There's a little bit...

There's always a little bit of bad in me. i mean i find it so hard to get it out of my head sometimes. Like does this person really care about me. do they think that i am a bad person because i don't work. am i wrong for being unhealthy. am i going crazy with these. sometimes i am. but you know i overcome them by telling my self that no. this is wrong. i a, a beautiful wonderful person. that i will be healthy and healed. that no one can ever make me feel inferior from what they say. it is i who makes my reality . so it is ultimately up to me to make the changes. it is hard. i have to say. to be disciplined enuff. to be happy. you have to make it ok. make it healthy, make it better, because in the end, what do you have here in human form. only the wonderful things you did. i am weeding out the guilt and regret from my life and knowing that the past is just what it is, and what i do. learning to get rid of procrastination, is the probably the most negative thing i have in my life. so i am just blabing about thoughts, randomly. just needed to get out what i am doing to better my life and hoping that others see that no matter what you can only make it better! i believe those are the words my mother told me. i still remember them, i think i was about when she told me that, she promised to stop drinking. she didn't, but i forgive her. she didn't mean to hurt me and i know that. she was only doing what she thought was right. so i give her so much credit for living as long as she did with her disease. and in the end, it's really ok. because love prevails.

Oregon

so.. tony and I will be moving to springfield/eugene oregon when the bid goes throught for wayerhouser. i am so excited about this. That meaning we will have our own place and everything. it's like the thing we have been waiting for. A chance to do this life on our own. without rents and the nonsense. i am so happy for him,, because he will get a company truck and double his wages that he has now! they also pay for our moving expenses! We really don't have that much to move, but that's ok. i just can't wait to be in a new place and be free again. change is always good, especially when you start looking at things in a new way. this healing process that i am going throught has really done that for me. i am keeping my anger and fit to a minimum. Which does sounds kind of odd, by being more positive i don't have a need to freak out anymore. realizing what i stress about, which isn't really there, i put it there myself. leads me to realize what i need to do for myself. And that is to become that best that i can be. isn't that an add for like the military or something. pooey. anyways, tony didn't want me to tell a lot of people in case the bid didn't go through. but, i know it will because this is what we are suppossed to do. So i am telling people about it because i am so damn excited! to meet new people do new thing and have a place for ourselves. yea yea yea. so wish us luck and little prayer, please!

traveling bag is on.

Today as i was going into the old bookstore that i used to go to in anacortes. i found the ultimate bag. it is green 100% cotton, which a flap that that has the celtic tree of life on it. it has an adjustable strap with metal gromets and it attaches with metal closure thingy's . it also has a pocket it on the back that velcros. it is the coolest bag in the world. i am having a hard time parting with it. but, i am not parting i am sharing because it's our bag. so i will send it off this week cause i gotta break it in this weekend. so watch out for it. i am sending to.. .... suprise i am not telling. so for the first time around we all get it for no more that 2 weeks, that ways we can expericene it all in each sooner. k maybe a week, i would like that, but it's up to you guys, if you need to request longer, just post or ya know let us know. but this way others don't have to wait for like ever to have it. sso it is as was. lovve you grrrlz

quarter moon

Congratulations! this is for me. i am standing straight. i feel great. i woke up at four a.m. to the quarter moon glaring in at me. it was at this time that i new beautiful things were on the horizon. so therefor i got up off the floor where i had been sleeping soundly for about 4 hours. i had no pain down my leg. it wasn't till i was washing my face, that my spine was so sore. like it had been pushed down in the muscles in my back. i thought, this can't be good. so i went out side for the infamous cancer stick. and . it didn't hurt to sit , no tingly no stabbing pain in my ass, literally. so i got up and my back was the straightest it has been in like a month. i couldn't believe it! so i laid back down, afraid that if i didn't go back to my comfy position that i would loose this, again. but no i am still straight, not perfectly, but i am healing. it's a blessing, truly to stand tall and almost feel skinny. so here i am proud of the progress of working with my energies going to the chiropractor and using my exercise ball, which i was recommened to lean as far back as possible to let all the blood rush to my head. this results in allowing the fluid in your spind to seap back to where it belongs. if i had 300 dollars i could by and inversion table, but the blue ball works ok. and i would like to thank all off my girls for supporting my through this. Tasha for sending my good energy, i love you. kelly for listening to me rant about it all and just listening, alicia for supporting my my everyday rants and my new found way of life, kristen, just for being the sister i love all the time and for making sure i was ok. you girls are everything to me and without your power of friendship and love i don't think i would have make this venture in life as wonderful as it has been. i am also going to thank tony for being like the best man i will ever know. he even thinks i am sexy and beautiful when i am hunched over, no makeup in the same pj's and he tells me everyday . i am blessed with wonderful people. now i continue my healing and bring it back so i can make my life even better, and maybe pay some bills off. so love you and may the love prevail!!!

Progression starts with endings

I had the most relieving experience at the chirpopractic office yesterday. My doctor has been practicing energy healing with my back and it is totally working. As she was pushing up my spine i could feel it down my left leg. i know the physical aspect of why it happend. because everything is eternally connected, but i could feel some of the energy leaving my body! i am progressively getting better. Even though i am still hunched over and my muscles are still tight, i know i can do this. i am still knowing of my positivity, and i practice on focusing when i go to sleep at nite. i just have so many struggles inside that i am subconsiously not thinking of. i need to get rid of the excessive past baggage that i am currently dragging around. I hope that with my keeping up on this will coincide with my healing process. may it all be well!

Self healing

I have been progressively getting better. The way that i look at my situation right now is very good. i can feel that i get better every day. Even if i feel sore and tired and my leg hurts, i am getting better. i am only waking up once in the night with pain in my left leg and the numbness in my toes is going away. which are all definately good signs, that i am improving.
i have come to the realization that i need to change my habits as a person. which means getting healthy, loosing weight and strengthening my muscles and my mind. Which i currently am doing. i bought a exercise ball yesterday and i would have to say that is one good work out. it really stretches my muscles in back. from being hunched completely over for a week my muscles really do a beating. it is like i have to retrain my self to stand correctly and have good posture. which when i have been standing for over 10 min i am so sore and tired. but that too will change and i will not only be myself again, but a better me. someone who doesn't put things off till the last minute, takes charge of her life and makes sure that mind body and soul are all in sync. i want my true self to take charge again. i need this to survive. because when you are unable to perform the simple tasks you have all your life you see it differently. i definately will never take for granted the job of just being human. and that is to do good to all so i may remain wholesome . i know i do sound different, but i am not. i am trying to heal my self in the most natural way. there is a lot of information out their on the natural healing properties of the body. and my chiropractor is working with energies with in my body to help get rid of the negative energies trapped in my body. it's amazing what the world has to offer you, if you only reach out for it and also give it to others. so wish me luck, a prayer, or anything you want. because i would do the same for you. love

Meditations from Conversations with God.

PERSONAL EVOLUTION

The soul is very clear that its purpose is evolution. it is not concerned withe the achievementsof the body or the development of the mind. these are all meaningless to the soul.
The soul is also cery clear that ther is not great tradgedy involved in leaving the body. In many ways the tradgedy is being in the body.
ON POSSESSIONS
There is nothing i have to hve, ther's nothing i have to do, and there is nothing i have to be, except exactly what i'm being right now.
ON THERE BEING NO SEPARATION
Act as if you were sepreate from nothing, and no one, and you will heal your world tomorrow. This is the greatest secret of all time.
ON ANGER
Anger is a natural emotion, it is the tool you have which allows you to say," no thank you". it doen't have to be abusive, and it never has to be damaging to another.
ON COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR SELF
There comes a time in the evolution of every soul when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit, no longer the attainment of the worldly success, but the realization of SELF.
ON TRUTH
Feeling are neither negative nor destructive. They are simply truths. How you express your truth is what matters.

These are some quote from the book which is the title of this. It is written by Neale Donald Walsch, which these are his actualy meditative talks withe our father. They are neither religious or selective, just holy and righteous. Believe and thyself and you will prevail....

I am healed

So i have discovered that i need to find a new resource to take away the pain that i have endured. And that i no longer want to rely on chemicals added to my body to make the pain subsided. so with the help of someone special i can do this. i would have to thank tasha for enlightening me on the things that i have leg go of for so many years.. positivity in yourthinking is definately what makes things happen. so if you read this tasha, thank you. you have open my mind to something that is truly magnificent. something that i knew all along and it came back to me at just the right time. i do control myself and everything that happens to it. i have to say in the few days i received your package, the positve thinking that i am better and that i am healthy has helped tremendously. i have helped my self to control the pain, stop my panic attacks and realize that i am on the right path to becoming my true self. i also went to see my chiropractor today and i told her all about this. and low and behold she believes in it too!. she studies something along the lines of miracles, not sure what the book was, called, but that the true miracle is knowing that you control everything about yourself, including diseases, misforutnes,etc. so i am really blessed to have her, because she did some new healing treatments now that she is comfortable with what i know, and i am also blessed to have such wonderful friends to help me in this time. so i am healthy and i am better and i will prevail throught this. And i do love myself, so thank you for the insight. and kelly i can't wait for the tape,,too!