Life isn't always fair... ya know!!!

So i would like to share that i have really awesome news and some not so good news. The good news is that i had a job interview for the hospital today. it's for the housekeeping dept.(which i have a ton of experience in) it starts at like 12 dollars and hour, union, and well, it's a job. which i have technically been out of work for like 8 months this year. I don't find out until tomorrow if i actually have the job or not. it starts as on-call reserve, which sucks, i thought it was a full-time job. but it's a step in the door, since most places hire with-in. So it's a great opportunity. if i do not get this job, i will be coming to iowa. But it i get it, well i will have to wait. i know i want to come visit so bad and see everyone. But i guess everything happens for a reason. and well you know all the rest, but i have to remember, that i need to take care of what i need to move out, pay bills off, and be a partner to tony. Those are my main priorities. i have to remind my self of this sometimes, because half of me wants to refuse it, come visit for 3 weeks and say what the hell, i have waited this long, why not wait any longer, that's how much i miss everyone, but the other half has to know how much i love my life with tony( more so when we have a place of our own. So i am going to be responsible, and i hope everyone will send the best energies my way, to guide me in this difficult time. cause damn, i wanna get the hell our of here and see my girls. like so bad. but, till i find out, you never know. just pray that whever i decided is what is best for me. thanks and i hope you girls understand. and i also know, that something always silly happens when i make plans, and i totally like had everyone's hopes up, i didn't intentionally do this, i hope you all know.but, i will also be really happy if i get this job, which means i will have all of my own money, and can save up and be myself, again. ok love everyone so much.

Who i may be...

Erin Rae Cadden's Aliases

Your movie star name: Nuts Keith Your fashion designer name is Erin Berlin Your socialite name is Eggnog Athens Your fly girl / guy name is E Cad Your detective name is Dog Jefferson Scranton High Your barfly name is Cookie Cosmopolitan Your soap opera name is Rae Wilson Your rock star name is Gummi Worms Car Your Star Wars name is Eribru Cadton Your punk rock band name is The Silly Orange

The Amazing Meganame Generator

My very awesome day!!!

So yesterday was such a cool day for me. I would have to say it was the best day i have had in a while. It started with me going to my 2nd day of water aerobics. My friend sabrina gave me a 7 day pass to try with her. then next week i think i will be getting a membership. Well, it made me feel so good. I don't think i have felt that good physically, mentally and emotionally, in quite some time! So i am totally hooked, i got a new swimsuit, which was the hard part, but it's good. i have a little swim skirt that covers my goodies up and i don't feel so self conscious. Except for the first day in which i woke up late and didn't get a very good towle. so when it came time for me to shower after swimming, it didn't even cover my butt. Imagin drying your swimsuit in the spin dryer in a locker room with your butt hanging out. All these other people and well, it wasn't so bad, but the next day i brought a bigger towel!
So to continue with the rest of the good day. I got home and helped tony hook up the boat to our new car. Got some snacks and drinks ready. and we were off to go fishing up at baker lake. It was so beautiful out, the sun was shining down on the green water. it is the lake that is connected to the baker river, which is water that is run off from the glacier. so it is actaully really, really cold, but this totally amazing green frosty hue. I just totally love it up there with all the trees and the incredible views of the mountains and glaciers. incredibly awesome! So we didn't really catch any fish or really try that hard. Just a lot of cruisingh around on the boat and finding our that people were watching us from the shore when we were you know what. anyways, it was fun. We even took the dog with us. He actually has to wear a life jacket because he has a tendency to jump into the water, when he thinks we have caught a fish. So it was really funny to see. Then after we got done doing that we drove home, washed the car, and proceeded to get into a water fight, which tony got really upset about, beause i totally caught hime off guard and i totally understand why. because when he got me it was really fucken cold. So after we got all cleaned up and organized, we continued our trip. We drove over to my dad's to hang out for a while.i played with the kitties and the dog, which is so fun. Then we continued to the drive-in again! We got to see The Simpson's movie and transforms. It was so awesome! Green day played and they died. i guess that one is for alicia, and tony and i both looked and each other when they were on their and said omg, alicia has to see this movie. hahahha. So it was so much fun, eating popcorn out of the back of our suv, watching movie, having the dog there and just relaxing. I fell asleep about 30 minutes in to the second movie. But it was ok. Except for not getting done til 2:30 in the morning and having to drive 40 minutes back home. Even the dog was totally pooped out. So it was a great day, because i got to spend it with my 2 favorite guys, tony and my dog bruce. BEcause life really is great when you get to have great little moments with the people you love. yea

I AM COMING BACK

I am really excited about coming back to iowa and seeing everyone. i didn't really even think about coming with my sister until k.t. asked why shouldn't i come back. well, duh if my gama is helping my sis, shouldn't she help me, too? well, i did talk to her and she really wants to see both of us, considering she is getting old and all. Whatever, i get to come back, yea. and get to spend a little more time with people! And she isn't old, she is just using that as an excuse so she can see my sister and i together at the same time. which is all good! So be prepared because the almighty Erin is coming to town. hahaha.

Ladies and gentlemen... here comes...

You Are Gwen Stefani!

All guys dream about you And all the girls want to be you "Sappy pathetic little me That was the girl I used to be"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

You Are Aphrodite!

A total shining star with a ton of admirers And no wonder: you live life to the fullest! When things get bad, you can easily take off to a happier place But occasionally, you need to deal with problems head on

What Goddess Are You?

Your Punk Band Name Is...

The Silly Pinking Shears

What's Your Punk Band Name?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Candy Yass

Outrageous Name Generator

My past life... as i could only be.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Brave Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: Peru. How You Died: Decapitation.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

My soul...

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Happy 50th MOM

So yester day July 13, would have been my mother's 50th birthday, she was actually born on friday the 13th,in 1957. I know i would have gotten her a dinosaur toy, because my sister and i always teased her that she was as old as dinosaurs. hehehe. I also probably would have made a point to spend it with her, but who knows where she would be, but i would have like to been there with her.To make fun of how she was over the hill and give her balloons, and some flowers. I would definately make a cake. I wish she were here to experience it! Also i just wish she could be here to meet tony, seen my sister graduate, and just help me when things are retarded. But i hope she is okay wherever she is now! i know my grandma is having a hard time with this, she always focuses on dates and stuff like that. So i was suppossed to call her yesterday and i forgot. she is gonna be pissed, oh well when i get done, i am going to call her and see how she is doing! i know my mom would have loved to expereince her 50th, cause we would have done so much for her. i just love her and always will. So happy 50th mom, i love you. oh and ha i am only 26. hehehe

Time to start...end the madness

There was a time in my life, when i thought i could change the world. Where i really thought i was getting right and together. Then things happened, bad things, where i didn't think i was going to make it. It was just coming at me full force. I didn't snap, but i think i lost myself in it all. Now as i am trying to build a future with a person i love so much. i am perplexed as to where i fit in? Am i just there to be, a do-it girl, love me girl, kiss me girl, oh i love you and that's all that matters girl. No i don't want to be that girl. i am strong, intelligent, worthy, caring, sensitive, empathtic(maybe more than i need to be), funny, courageous, loving, happy, emotional, creative, gosh there is so much that i have that needs to be out there. i am not saying he doesn't see those things, i just think that the people around us, don't notice. People seem to do that a lot, don't notice me, what my purpose is as a whole human being. Do i even know, probably not to the fullest extent. but, i am powerful, i feel, i share, i listen. So why is it that i am totally taken for granted, graced over by glances, and the oh erin will just do it. Because i do it to myself, i want that, i make it. Because to me it's just easier, simpler, comfortable. Well, being comfortable means that you aren't taken any chances and you are just not living life to the fullest. i truly believe that. it will take all that i have to stand up say no, i am all of this and i will be the best i know and much more. i can make this work, i can have that happy life with that person and let us be who we are without any scuitany. Even if it takes everything to move on. The easy way would be to leave, go back where i came from and just be that Erin. That is to easy and hard at the same time, but it is an option. i want to be the bold and courageous, strong and knowing person i see myself as. No more backing down, taking crap and letting people walk all over me. That is my step to be a positve loving human being. But if it means not letting everyone in,. well so be it.. i don't know that i mean by that . i will just have to see what happens, after all i am only human.

CAMPING

Today is going to be a scorcher here, tomorrow is suppossed to be the hottest day of the year here. like all the way to 95. ew, i dislike how being sticky makes me feel. but it's okay, i just might go to the beach. anyways, i am heading down to olympia this weekend, to go camping. it will be so much fun! We are following tony's parents down, they got a new motorhome. We are going to tent it, though. We are going quad riding, i haven't been, since last year, so i don't know how my back is going to react to that. we'll see... We are only staying until sunday, and his parents are coming back on wednesday. I can't wait, we get out fo the valley and somewhere new. i am bringing lots of vodka!!! i think my sister is going to go to. i will take lots of pictures and post them when i get back. love you all!

My color psyche

Your Psyche is Violet

You are spiritual, intuitive, and serene. People trust you to rescue them from bad situations, and you usually come through. While you are quite enlightened, you find that your path is very lonely. When you are too violet: you can't connect to ordinary life or ordinary people When you don't have enough violet: you lack wisdom and can't learn from the past

What Color Is Your Psyche?

Well, that's how it goes.

So i am just putting in some words, because really i don't have much to say. it's amazing when things are just how they are, no controversy, no nothing. it's hot here and i don't like that much. except for that i am wearing a really cute skirt today with the cool necklace that alicia got me for christmas. i took tony's aunt to the physical therapist and bought myself coffee for the first time in a while. looking for a job still, worry about money. oh and my sister is spending the night, we are going up north for the 4th. to quad ride, eat, drink, set off fireworks, we are staying over nite in the r.v. i don't know, it's gonna be hot, so i am whining about that. but i guess i will have more to talk about when tomorrow is over. so to all of you HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!