Hello 2013
Well it's now what 6 days into the new year and i am officially 21 weeks pregnant. I am half way to give birth to a beautiful little girl. It's so weird to say that. Only because I know sound like a cheesy mom who reads quotes to satisfy her need to make the world beautiful. Ok i am because my hormones are like insanely crazy,
So I have this life changing experience that until 2 years ago, I did not really want or fathom it could happen to me. I totally knew I was pregnant, but was like no really all the times I though I was, now... Yes now apparently, so I officially took my first pee test on the day after my birthday. Which lead to the no, Erin that isn't right, says Tony,
So the next morning, like the earlier I will ever mention getting up for, there it was positive as could be.
Now I have could document everything that has happened so far, but I would be typing forever. So I will just say that I made it through 3 weeks of tremedous nausea, vomiting, and heartburn. Thenn it was over, thank god for that.
Now here I am in a new year with an even bigger belly. Seriously I am huge. Carrying a little girl. Which scares that crap out of me. But I keep telling myself that my relationship with my mother is going to be nothing like my new relationship. And I am totally questioning if she will love me as much as I will love her,all of these weird emotional things running crazy through my head. It is almost as I was put her on earth just for her. All of the craziness I have been through and endured. It means nothing when I think of her. Weird huh. I finally felt the sensation of a body inside of me like the arms and legs moving around and the vibration of whatever dancce sequence she decides to do ( because she is always moving) .
She is just like a miracle, weird cheesy, I know, but whatever, I love it. I am just glad she is healthy, because my health has been questionable. I am now on insuling at night to control my fasting blood sugars, which aren't too bad. My blood pressure keeps getting higher, which I maintain with medicine, but the dr's keep increasing it, So hopefully I can maitain for the next 20 weeks, so I do not go into early labor. My kidneys are not in the best shape, they are leaking protein due to the weakness from the stones I have had, so I wil start seeing a specialist, so I do not end up on dialysis.
So much to go through for a little tiny banana. But totally worth it.
