i made it...

so my surgery went well, apparently. i got home around noon on tuesday. I went in and had my own room, t.v. they actually have this machine that hooks into a disposable blanket, that blows warm air on top of you in the bed, to help you relax and get your blood vessels more open, i suppose for the i.v. i did good i slept for the 2 hours before my surgery. then got really nervous before i went in, started to cry and just be really anxious, that's when they gave me the good stuff and poof i was happy, good to good, being wheeled into the operating room the nurses talking about how i felt and the next thing i remember is waking up and being wheeled back to the after operating area. i was in a lot of pain, uncomfortable and my back hurt. i don't sleep or lie on my back anymore due to my back problems, they eventually got me back to a room i fianlly got some crackers and water and a pain pill. sharron showed up and took a picture of me in the bed. i looked like crap. she sent it to tony and he thought i looked swollen. she was being a great mom to me, even though i don't like to admit it, she is an awesome mom and was totally there for me. so i got home and my dad came over and we had lunch together i need a sandwich and a pickle, so hungry. i slept the after noon away. but yesterday was the worst, i started to pass particles of the stone and omg. it was so painful i had to take 2 pain pills just to feel better. i am stil in pain though, it hurts to have the stend it especially when i pee, so i have to dab so i don't pull it out, i can feel when the particles of crytalized glass pee go through, ugh it fucken sucks. i still haven't gone back to work. so i will probably be back on monday. the stent comes out on tuesday and that's when i find out about the contents of my stone.

thank yous:)

Just wanted to say thank you to every one. i can feel the love.i should be asleep and resting for tomorow. but i cant. i am really nervous. i don't like it, because now i have to face all of the bad in my body. i will be the center of attetion for real and i dont know if i want it. i just want it to be over, the waiting. oh and i had to pay half of my out of pocket expenses before the surgery. i guess this is happening alot. i couldn't get my surgery unless i forked over 200 dollars. whatever, i know it was such an unexpected thing, but really. i guess half of it is paid off., so it is okay. just wasn't expected to have to do that and i forget to pre register so i hope they don't cancel it or get shitty, that i forgot. i will let everyone know how it goes. love you and thankx for all the love.

update

so i had my appointment with the urologist today. i was in there for like 2 hours. so here's the scoop. my stone is right above my bladder, causing my uretra( the tubes that connect the kidney to the bladder) to be swollen. this is on my left side only. it has been in there for a while so they aren't sure whether it is actually still inside the uretra or on top of my ovaries. and since i am under 40 and my kidney isn't swollen, which is a concern to the doctors, since it should be, due to the size of the kidney stone. i will be having surgery tuesday morning, to have this removed. it is a day surgry only takes an hour. i will be out by the after noon. after this is done, then they can determine what my stone is made up of and how serious the rest of my organs are. then i can continue prevention and medication for this. it is actually cause by too many uti, so my urince is super concentrated. and too much calcium in my body, which is likely to be hereditary, since i think one of my grandparents had it. so when i have the surgery they will be sticking a scope up through to my the stone and blast it so it will turn into sand like particles and then flush it out, if my kidney is still not draining correctly( which it's not now because i am still peeing blood) that will put a stent in. this is a plastic spagheti shaped tube with coils on it that will help let my kidney drain into my bladder to drain. so now i am on flomax, which helps women with kidney stones get things flowing and draining. it is actually a drug used for men you have troubles urinating, i am sure you have all seen the commercial. and i am on pain meds. which i had to switch because i had a really bad reaction to them this morning which caused me to throw up, and break out into a allergic reaction, so my forhead was covered in red bums, they are still there but not so red, so now i am taking a different one. so i actually ate dinner and my migraine went away which started yesterday. ahhh so much information in such a little time. i am confused, scared and worried about missing more work. but i will be fine and let you know after my surgery on tuesday how it went. my daddy is picking me up from the hospital, so it will be like being a little kid again. which is kind of cool. i miss those times. well, i am going to bed now and need more sleep, which is weird because i slept like from 10 last nite until noon today, minus my shower after i throw up everywhere. good nite.

don't know what to title this, because it's just wrong...

As i was getting comfortable in my bed i made at my dad's with my 3 dogs and my little sis, who is a bed hog. i was enjoying the second viewing of twilight when i had a really bad pain, it kept getting worse. as i come to think of it, i was feeling weird all day for weeks. anyways, i was in so much pain even after taking my sleeping pills, it took me until 5 in the morning to get to sleep on my belly. so i took my self to the urgent care today. i have a kidney stone, it is 7cm in diameter. so i cannot pass it my self. it will need to be removed or broken apart, so then i can pass it. also, part of my kidney is swollen and is not allowing fluid to go into my bladder correctly. so i am going to an urologist tomorrow. so they can figure it out. hopefully, i will just have to pass something that will hurt. but waking up to peeing blood and being in the worst pain i could think of, anything has to be better. so i am fine, can't sleep because i just took my pain pills, so they make me silly and nobody will aswer their phone, to blab at me. hello anybody in there. you all know i can't hold my problems in and i need to talk about it like right away and it usually involved someone on the phone with me for hours. tony is taking me in the afternoon to my appointment, so he can hold my hand. he is working nights right now, so it's good it will be after i wake him up and feed him. so i have 2 beautiful boys in my bed with me, so don't tell tony, hehehe it's just my dogs. lvoe you all...