There's a little bit...

There's always a little bit of bad in me. i mean i find it so hard to get it out of my head sometimes. Like does this person really care about me. do they think that i am a bad person because i don't work. am i wrong for being unhealthy. am i going crazy with these. sometimes i am. but you know i overcome them by telling my self that no. this is wrong. i a, a beautiful wonderful person. that i will be healthy and healed. that no one can ever make me feel inferior from what they say. it is i who makes my reality . so it is ultimately up to me to make the changes. it is hard. i have to say. to be disciplined enuff. to be happy. you have to make it ok. make it healthy, make it better, because in the end, what do you have here in human form. only the wonderful things you did. i am weeding out the guilt and regret from my life and knowing that the past is just what it is, and what i do. learning to get rid of procrastination, is the probably the most negative thing i have in my life. so i am just blabing about thoughts, randomly. just needed to get out what i am doing to better my life and hoping that others see that no matter what you can only make it better! i believe those are the words my mother told me. i still remember them, i think i was about when she told me that, she promised to stop drinking. she didn't, but i forgive her. she didn't mean to hurt me and i know that. she was only doing what she thought was right. so i give her so much credit for living as long as she did with her disease. and in the end, it's really ok. because love prevails.