phone

so i just want to let everyone know that my phone has been suspeneded. so you can reach me at tony's number. if you don't know it, call alicia and get it from her. so i am going phone shopping with my sister for a new cell phone. so wish us luck.

crazy times, crazy times!

so as wonderful as i looked and felt this morning, it didnt'turn out as well as i planned it to. first of all i had to prep for a sale today, it was so awesome, i was almost done, totally confident that this was the best prep i have ever done, so much more confident in exactly where things were. then it hit, we had to set it as well. which was really frustrating because one of my sections only came down for today, so i had to put it back up, not very good time management! i was upset for a while, then realized it only took me 2 extra hours to set, good thing i am awesome at preping now! so i just wanted to vent because the sale was for tomorrow then changed for today, frustrating is what it is! it's okay i get extra hours and i still get to come it tomorrow for some more hours!

it's me!!!

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French art and Italian dessert?

So my saturday was a really good one this weekend. i sometimes hate the weekends, because i end up being at home and cleaning or doing laundry, and always looking for something to do. So yesterday Tony and i went down the seattle museum of art or the "SAM". It was really neat, haven't been to an art museum in a while. Too bad it was opening day for the exhibit from the louvre and family day, but we managed. They had a good size exhibit of the roman culture from the Louvre museum in Paris. It was so cool to see these statues that were carved by hand, so detailed and done so many centuries ago! you could actually see the dates carved in them! to imagine up close that people were around then and lived in a culture pretty close to ours, considering we don't really sacrifice or brutally kill as much. but, it's very similar, too bad all the things in between had to bring us down. To know that they showed their status by clothing, hairdo's and material possessions just as much as we do, well it was neat! The religious aspect was really interesting, all the cults that the romans and were a part of that to me aren't really cults, just more like separate spiritual beliefs. my favorite mural, was of a roman slaying a bull, can't remember his name, but with all the zodiac signs looking down at him in a circle. it was so detailed and to know we still rely on these symbols of future, is just amazing. Besides all the wonder and amazement, tony still seemed to get in trouble. he got yelled at for touching a mural, which he didn't even do and then they said he was standing too close, and the security lady was really bitchy. oh well, it's never a dull moment with that man! We went around and looked at all the other artwork and exhibits, which to me i love looking at paintings and just starring at all the brushstrokes and i thought tony was going to die of boredom. we looked at everything in about 2 hours. then enjoyed some gelato and a corner dessert place down the road from the parking garage! it was a really good date and so pleased that i have someone to do those things with, even if he causes trouble!

the money

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the end of the week! yea yea yea!!!

So today was a rather stressful day! first of all i had to be at work at 4 in the morning, which meant i got up at 3, that wasn't so bad, my windows weren't all fogged over and i acutally got to work 15 minutes early! i waited for the girl to come let me in, and none of our codes worked. then the security buzzer went off because we tried it too much! sucky! then we went to the other store to help then out for a while, we fianlly got in at around 4:45. which put us like an hour behind. which was so stressful, because i didn't have time to fully prep for the one-day sale on top of morning specials and does this for my four departments, which consist of intimate apparel, juniors, better sportswear, and moderate apparell. it took forever, even with help from someone, we didn't get out of there until 10, which was an hour past our time. not only did that happen i even stayed late by 3 hours yesterday just to get prepped some what. so friggen frustrating. then they called and wanted me to come in tomorrow for more set-up, because they figured it was ok, earlier in the week when we told them no one was scheduled and there were specials to put up. so i am not calling back to work tomorrow, because that would put me at 8 days in a row, no over time. and i want a day off! so i just feel so frustrated and i know i made some mistakes and missed some signs, because i was rushing just to get done. ahhhhh, i can't wait until the other girl comes back from prego leave! then life will be grand. other than that i am good had my shower ate some lunch, watch untamed heart, i heart christian slater so much! tomorrow we might go down to the museum in seattle to see the opening of the roman statue exhibit, i bet it will be awsesome! can't wait! so talk at you all later, gator!

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To the one i love!

so this is the incredibly cute card tony got me for valentines day! i love penguins, he gets me one every year, i have a cute penguin cookie jar! and the card, omg, so awesome! and these flowers are so pretty pink and purple. he usually gets me roses, ( so cliche).I really love these flowers, even when i tell him let's not celebrate or let's do it another day, he suprises me every time. like last year he bought all the fixings for me to make spaghetti dinner, before he had to go to work. and got me flowers and chocholate! he can be romantic, when it's necessary, which is more than i give him credit for. so this is a dedication to the man i consider the greatest and knows me better than i know myself, but's up with my crazy mood swimgs, grumpy mornings and still loves me no matter what, did i mention he thinks i look better without make-up, i thinking he just tries to make me feel better, but it's bullshit! so this one is for you tony, i love you forever!

weekend update...

So since i didn't get paid till friday, i got tony a travel case and all the goodies for his psp, he absolutely loved it! then i took us out to dinner for chinese and we went and saw fool's gold, it was so funny! great date movie. i think we are doing pretty well, sometimes' when i look at him i totally cannot picture my life with out him. even seeing another man some what nakes, only makes me think of him and how i wamt him. it's funny how that works. then yesterday we went to my dad's and low and behold my sister had a job interview for mc donald's. she got the job and starts orientation on tues. it's at the one by my house so i am going to pick her up and take her home that nite. it's so awesome for her to finally get a job! she keeps telling me that her childhood is over and i am like it's been over for a while honey, you are 19. she'll get in the groove of things and i think she will actually love working. so yea for her! now it's sunday i worked fro 4 house and i am off until tues.then off on wednesday, work thursday and friday. off on saturday work sun -thurs. what the hell ever, then i have a 4 day weekend, my schedule sucks, but it's a job and it works. so that is all for now.

i am blogging!!!

Okay everybody i am officially blogging. geez 14 comments, that's a big one for me. so yes i am okay, just really busy with working, going to the gym, and doing home things. getting up at 4 and and not getting home until 2 them cleaning, cooking, working out, pleasing tony and my dog who has to be up my butt all the time, we are walking for 20 minutes everyday and he won't let me forget it. so sorry. well, i hope everyone else is doing well. i have lost about 4 pounds in my goal of trying to loose some weight and be healthy, but i think i gained it all back this week with my intake of a very good cream puff. i love the french. and their baking and un.. not so much the calories of what i injested, but damb it was soooo good! hope everyone had a great valentine's day! i was going to take a picture of the things i got, but i left my camera in the toyota. oh yea i am now officially driving the truck, tony is up in ferndale working for a while. which means that is a 40 minutes drive one-way, so to save on gas i get to drive the blue tractor, that's what it feels like anyways. but, oh well at least i have something to drive, for the time being, until i get my car back. ahhh.
so i decided this year i didn't want to celebrate valentine's day, on valentines day, no going out, flowers, candy presnts. nothing. just us and us. so i was going to make chicken picata and just enjoy the the hosue to ourselves. well, i did make hima homemade card, which he always loves, because i always say cheesy stuff in them. so when he was running late yesterday and not answering his phone, i was kind of getting nervous. so he knocked on the door, of course i answered, and there he was with a whole bunch of purple and pink flowers, the bigges box of chocolates and a card. stupid butthead. but i think he knows better than to not get anything, because deep down i do want it. so he's good, and the card was so friggen cute. it had a penguing on it and it said" what what i do if i didn't have you?", then when you open it " i would still be looking for you" how friggen cute and he knows i love penguins, so he's good, except for the chocolates, he knows i am on a diet, they are my pitfall. i hate too much last nite, so i made him put them up high, i don't know where they are hidden and if i ask for one he will get it for me , because i would eat the whole box. i just can't help it. but we watched good luck chuck last nite at home, and it was friggen hilarious, everyone should see it! we went to bed early and he actually watched project runway with me, oh and he didn't make me cook, we ordered pizza and diet coke. the man of my dreams. we are going out for chinese tonite and maybe a movie, we'll see. so i am doing well very happy and getting healthy and my clothes are fitting better and maybe tomorrow i will put up somepicture so you can see my beautiful flowers.

Follow up...

so just some follow-ups into my life. my sister and i sort of found common ground this weekend. i took her around to get job applications and and that sort of stuff. even though we ended up in the er. on friday due to a massive migraine, we got it all taken care of, the needle was friggen huge! so she is getting better, trying to figure our her life. so hopefully if my dad is being a jerk she can turn in some more applications and get a job! i finally paid off my gym due and today i want to go to water aerobics, but i don't at the same time. i tried on my swim suit for the first time since this summer and omg i am a fucken huge jaba the hut fucken fat as ugly bitch. now don't go telling me it's not true. i am huge i have to deal with it and if it means calling myself a few words to get my butt going, so be it. and if one person says no you are beautiful, yea i know i am beautiful and all that jazz but i am huge and it's not pretty. so whatever i am going and someday it will be pretty again. oh and it's like totally snowing we had like 4-6 inches here sinc yesterday and more is coming. yea snow, bad if you have to drive in weather when most people i don't think know what snow is. ahh, but i have 4-wheel drive. ok toodles.

i love my sister!

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I wish that i could change how my sister feels about her self. To be a strong and independent, intelligent woman. To realize that you need to get out there and find yoruself, among the casos and trouble. To make a path to call your own, and who to let go down your path with you. i just worry so much about her. I just don't know what to do anymore. I always seem to have a way of helping people. But, she just won't let me into your life. it's like there is the wall between us, no emotion, other than anger from her. She just thinks that i am stupid, cliche and too happy. Well, i know what it's like to be in pain, depressed, unhappy with myself. She just sits at home watching tv, listening music, and eating. Doesn't really go anywhere unless it's to a store with my dad or if i take her somewhere like shopping or to my house. she doesn't hang out with anybody or talk to anyone on the phone, she doesn't have internet, so that sucks. But, she won't get a job, or learn how to drive my dad's car so she can go look for a job. None of us can get her out to do that. i always bring her applicatons, the newspapers with jobs circled. And maybe i am pushing her and just pissing her off all together. But, i don't know what to do anymore. i always just say that i am trying to help. But she jsut says i am in the way, i don't need your help. girls, i am at a loss. My grama esther is worrie sick about her. and well, i just don't want her to go down the same path as my mother, and my grama says that she needs to get out and be with people. kelly hates peopel, she takes friggen anxiety pills, because she is afraid to be around people. she is a friggen hermit. help!

Get it on....

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I have to say that sex is not the same when you are in a serious relationship. Toi imagine being with the same person for years and years is a great thing, and i can see how it can be monotonous and boring. because, well for like 6 months, i haven't really wanted to, like i just lost my groove. which for me should be impossible, because i love to have sex. and i am with a totally awesome guy who loves me and thinks i am beautiful, when i truly look like shit. so it has nothing to do with him, because he can groove very correctly. it's that i was so tired of having to perform and be so in to it. i just couldn't like it. almost like it was a chore. something i had to do because god forbid a man who can jack off all day has to have sex with my stupid fat ass. well, there it is. i was being negative and not liking myself. which has been an ongoing personal battle( i am refering to my weight issues). i still don't always feel comfortable when i have extra weight wobbling arouand, well folks, ain't too pretty. then a couple of weeks ago. i just couldn't take it anymore. it's like i got crazy and needed to be the sex maniac i had been for years. it was always my control i felt with guys, the need to please some one so they would see me as beautiful and sexy, even though i wasn't skinny or totally gourgeous like i felt under my weight. so as i keep thinking about this. it really has nothing to do with the control. it has to do with the fact that i need pleasure so does my boyfriend. and we take it when we can( considering our living situation, we don't always get to go crazy. And it's really funny we have sex that's it, i got my control of this is what we do, this is what i want and thanks i am done. and that is how i got my groove back. oh and by the way, the rents are living tomorrow for 2 weeks. which means we really get to be crazy. so to all those people who have issues with sex, which i am sure we all do. it doesn't need to be a never ending battle in your head. Just have it then remember that who you do it with, especially if you are in a committed relationship, you should be lucky to have someone want to do it with your stupid ass after all these years. and it's quite funny, because we still laugh and do stupid shit, in bed. so this comic is totally something he would say to get it on. after all i am with the guy who thinks that beavis impressions are sexy. so god help me, i am in love with a dork, who still thinks i am sexy, beautiful, crazy all the time, but he loves me more than i ever thought anybody could. and that's what i call making love.

what... is .. this... crap....give me candy!

well, ladies and gents: i am currently in a state of i don't know what the fuck. i got off work early and i have watched t.v., done my hair, nails, ate lunch, computered, i believe that i am actually bored. you see, when i get off work early, unless i am going somewhere or doing a project or laundry, idon't have anything to do or anyone to see except for my dad or sister. either everyone lives to far to go see or they are working all day. this really sucks, i don't have any friends that are really close to me here. i have a few that i see like a couple of times a year, but that's it, just tony and i. i am boring right now. so i should really think of something to do with this wasted time. for now i think i will go and get a coffee, but i should be going to the gym, taking some classes, something. well, by tomorrow i will have my gym dues paid off. ( and sierra, don't need to say it to me again.) but why am i not going to school for something? i could take courses on-line, anything. so i am just chilling, reading magazines and contemplating what to cook with dinner, i only have 2 potates, i guess i could make rosemary potates, mmm oven roasted with garlic and thyme and olive oil, salt and pepper, mmmmm me want taters. ok well, i don't really have anything importatnt to say. oh well, the rents are going on vacation for like 2 weeks, i take them to the airport on monday. so that's cool. other than that, i am at a loss. okay bye now!

well.. i may be free soon!

So i would like to let all you lovely peeps know that i may be officially signing some important papers on tuesday. i will be officially a free women, with the endless possibiliteis of my current relationship. i know it's about time, but all is in due time. I can finally carry on what i want in my life, without that baggage pulling me down. He is coming down on tuesday, hopefully he will remember the papers. we are having lunch and will sign on the dotted line. woo-hoo. Then hopefully sooner than later i can be mrs. stokes, how cool would that be. we talk about it all the time, you know where it's going to be, he wants one in vegas, but i want it to be close to home with all my favortie people's. so maybe we could get married there and come back here for a reception. then we want to go to either the somewhre tropical or ireland to drink all the guinness we can take. Our colors will probably be gold and burgandy. it's funny how we talk about this like we are actually going to do it soon. i just want some time to be erin cadden, officially, again. But, no matter what happens, i don't regret a thing, everything is laid in place and happend for a reason. Then big decision would be to who i would have in my wedding party. so there alicia i wrote something knew, hope you are happy!

Christmas

so christmas was really good this year! I had to work christmas eve, only till ten in the morning. Then i came home and tony had alreay started making more cookies. he went to finish shopping and brought me back with some tea and a sandwich. We made peanut brittle with my sister. Sugar spice cookies that i decorated the stars and trees, white chocolate dipped pretzels with christmas colored sprinkles, and fudge with marshmellows and peppermint. we were busy and sure made a mess of the kitchen, but he and his mom chipped in and helped me. thankful for that! we finally figured out how to make the cookie press, it's awesoame, thanks santa 2 years ago! Then we got ready to go up to the ranch for fondue! it was pretty good, i got burned, but it's worth it for the beer battered shrimp i made with sweet and sour sauce! then the bread and cheese, nmmmmm yummmy! we had to leave early to come home for our christmas.
My sister joined us christmas eve, so we all opened our presents early, because tony's dad had to work the next morning. Everyone loved their gifts! Tony got me a new black leather jacker, it zips up and is so cool, a little small, but i decided i will loose weight to get it zipped up past my boobs, but who zips their up anyways? My sister was happy with all the gifts from macy's that i got her! we got to do the stockings early too, which was awesome, socks, kaluha and chocolate! we all hung out in the living room with our new jammies and watched amazing race, ( we recorded it from sunday). so all in all it was great.
Then on christmas morning i woke up and had a really bad pain in my left side and pressured was building up and pushing on my bladder. i finally went to the e.r. in incredible pain. Found out that i had a bladder infection, almost close to getting my kidneys, because their was lots of blood and protein in my urine. weird, but they gave me anibiotics and pain medicine. i felt better right away, but after a while and right as we sat down for the best dinner ever, i had to go throw up. then i had like a few bites. but i got to spend the day with my family and our friend sabrina, with her dog and my dad's wiley. they all got along. and my dad, tony, and his dad jack sat around drinking scotch, and had a good time. i love my family i have, they all mean so much to me, even when i want to hate them! But, this was a great christmas and i couldn't ask for anything more. except for maybe a designer bag, hahah kidding. but i am feeling better, even though i had to call in sick to day. the first one ever, i felt bad, but i need to get better! So i hope all of you had a great time! Oh and we get to see j.p. this weekend, too bad alicia isn't here either, butt head. but i love you anyway! happy holiday!

It's been a while...

So i have realized i haven't blogged in a while. i have been so busy getting up early for work, running errands all day, keeping the house organized, cooking dinners, shopping for christmas, visiting people, that i just have time to read through stuff and that's about it. if tony is home on any of my days off, he takes over the computer. so i had to be a work at 4 this morning, which meant getting up at 2:45. i have to admit i looked pretty good for that early. then i spend all day getting packages out and stuff that i finally sat down and relaxed at like 2, then fell asleep from 3:30 until 5:30. so it felt nice. i work all week, then i actually have my first weekend off. i think i am going to make candy like peanut brittle, cookies, maybe some fudge. i already made my grand marnier. it's almost ready, you have to shake and let it sit for like 10 days to get the full wonderful taste of it. then i can make awesome cosmos. you know, cranberry juice gran marnier,fresh squeezed lime and shake, they are delicious! so i am almost done christmas shopping,. Then i will feel a little more relaxed, i think. it's always a rush to get this person this and that person this, that i don't ever think that i am totally satisfied with what i get. so hopefully this weekend i can get it all done. so i hope everyone has a great holiday, because i know i will!oh and have a great week!

What is this?

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I love cookies! And i believe this goes with saying. That sometimes you are expecting something when you realize you get something that you really don't want. I know this applies to relationships. There are many times i get things or shit happens and i am like what the fuck is this shit. But you can't always get what you assume you are entitled too!. i think that since people love me they should do things for me all the time and never think of themselves because i should come first. Well, i do this to tony all the time. i shouldn't, i know but, i always feel like i do everything for him and i need to remember to do things for him too! just like tony bought me a box of peanut brittle today, i ate it all so i had to make him chocolate milk. so i am just saying that not everything is the way it is and sometimes cookie monster will just have to have some fruit, it's good for you, too! which is to say things that you don't want and you end up getting are good for you and you never knew it! good day!

That's how it goes.

Well, today didn't go as smoothly as I wanted. It started from last nite with me not getting to sleep when i wanted to. I smeared my nail polish so i had to redo them this morning. When i got up i laid around for too long, which made me like 5 minutes late for work. Then work started out rough. i had to do the i.a. dept. all by my self, preparing for the special 2 day sale tomorror. Which i really don't know what i am doing, especially when my supervisor has no clue, because he is new. But i finally got it down and well as long as i remember where everything is tomorrow, i will do good. But they keep pulling me away from different areas and i can't get back in time and when i'm not there, my section doesn't get done, so whatever. hopefully i can just be the intimate apparel person and they can get there stuff back in order. Enough of work. I made the ultimate Erin. i locked my keys in my car at work. They were on my front seat i guess i left them there when i went to my car on last break. grrr mad grrrr arg. So i had to call my dad to come and resuce me, because tony was at work, everyone else was gone and all of the people i work with left already. So i had to wait for an hour because there was a car fire on the high way, so my dad had to turn around. whatever, stupid car fire. So i fianlly got home 90 minutes later, still don't have my car, because i thought tony had his set with him, but i just found them haning on the key thing and my dad already left. whatever. i am going to bed early will do my nails, have everything ready and i have to get up at 3 to be at work by 4, until 9. Then i finally get paid, so i am going to cash it take my dad out for breakfast. then back to the slave mines on saturday. life is grand. also, i am taking the spare key and will put it in my wallet, so this shit doesn't happen again. i'm friggen tired, hungry need a shower and still have to do laundry. ahhhhhh what would i do if i had kids. not ever going to happen. well, i might change my mind like some other day, but for today nonono.

nonsense... can't think of anything else.. too tired. have fun!

This is for the people who i call and never answer, i believe this is what could possibly be going on.... i don't know, but if you are an individual who doesn't answer my calls, then...u sicko!

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The second week...only time will tell....

So i have made it to my second week of work. It's going really well, i had to officially learn the intimate apparrel dept. today and it sucked. not only are there sales, but every style of different color of different brand is on sale, and it's all pretty different. i will just have to get used to it. i'm supposed to be full time but, my schedule says i am only working till 10 most days, which sucks. i checked my check on-line, which is awesome, since i don't get paid till friday, but i can check it in case i want direct deposit, then i can print it off for my records, neat huh. so i know how much i am getting on friday, but it's not as much as i would like, but hopefully after the holidays, less people will be working, to get things done and i can get more hours, which would be awesome, plus i get paid every friday. So yea. I am still tired and feet hurt, but not as bad, i just have to get used to it. The only bad thing, on friday i have to be at work at 4, because of a big sale, oh well. so that's all for my second week. Every one is nice and i have at least one person to hang out with, that works my schedule. it rules!
But, there's one thing. I feel like a totally different person. i get up at 4 do my hair and make-up , get to wear decent clothes and work in a really nice place, i should get more money for this!. It's just weird because i am not a morning person, but on my day off i got up at 6:30. I was afraid to sleep in because i would ruin my routine and schedule. it's weird. I just, well, feel so awesome about myself!. I am more active eating less, happier and well just happier. so it's good maybe next year will be my year.