Sunday, April 20, 2008
i hold hands with a ghost...
When i think of times i had you at my side, i sigh. knowing you were just there, satisfied me so. i can't recall the your scent or even your voice. i do know your face and how you would always comfort my pains. to a time all i wanted to say to you was a yelling threat of words, trailed by resentedment, pain, and the promises you never kept. these are things i throw back in my head at night as i cry. to know i had you,whenever i would call. Just the thought of your exit, inflicts pain, unimaginable by the naked eye. i ask forgiveness, for i fear i can't forgive you. if only i could let go, just once and be centered that i had you for a reason and that time is only a fragment of reality. then i could rejoice, knowing when i go home you will be thre, at my side with the smell of your skin and the throbbing hum of your voice as i go to sleep. but to stop and be happy with my memories, is the hardest task,that I endure. I keep it with me all the time, wishing i could just empty my pocket and throw it all away. but, you as well as i, know throwing things away,only leaves us empty. I don't want to throw you away, just push the pain aside. I am just afraid that when i do, i will have to stop holding hands with you.
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5 comments:
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Webcam, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://webcam-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
um...ok...webcam??
So this is awesome Erin?? Did you write this? its great,its so beautiful, yet very emotional, its a tear jerker thats for sure.
and the post is likeable =)
yea this webcam thing, confusing, whereever that came from, yea i wrote this all by myself, just came out yesterday. weird, how i do things like that.
walking with a ghost comes to my mind when I read this...Im weird...but it's still great, and very expressive of your feelings towards things that you have dealt with and still dealing with. You are a strong strong woman, and I remember this a lot, it also helps me to be strong and brave like you, you radiate it, if you see it or not.
it's so bitter sweet some times when this stuff pours out of us. sounds beautiful and tragic and that is just perfect. ahhh.. writing is so theraputic.
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