Sunday, April 20, 2008

i hold hands with a ghost...

When i think of times i had you at my side, i sigh. knowing you were just there, satisfied me so. i can't recall the your scent or even your voice. i do know your face and how you would always comfort my pains. to a time all i wanted to say to you was a yelling threat of words, trailed by resentedment, pain, and the promises you never kept. these are things i throw back in my head at night as i cry. to know i had you,whenever i would call. Just the thought of your exit, inflicts pain, unimaginable by the naked eye. i ask forgiveness, for i fear i can't forgive you. if only i could let go, just once and be centered that i had you for a reason and that time is only a fragment of reality. then i could rejoice, knowing when i go home you will be thre, at my side with the smell of your skin and the throbbing hum of your voice as i go to sleep. but to stop and be happy with my memories, is the hardest task,that I endure. I keep it with me all the time, wishing i could just empty my pocket and throw it all away. but, you as well as i, know throwing things away,only leaves us empty. I don't want to throw you away, just push the pain aside. I am just afraid that when i do, i will have to stop holding hands with you.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Sierra said...

um...ok...webcam??

So this is awesome Erin?? Did you write this? its great,its so beautiful, yet very emotional, its a tear jerker thats for sure.

and the post is likeable =)

sisterlovemoon said...

yea this webcam thing, confusing, whereever that came from, yea i wrote this all by myself, just came out yesterday. weird, how i do things like that.

Sierra said...

walking with a ghost comes to my mind when I read this...Im weird...but it's still great, and very expressive of your feelings towards things that you have dealt with and still dealing with. You are a strong strong woman, and I remember this a lot, it also helps me to be strong and brave like you, you radiate it, if you see it or not.

:) said...

it's so bitter sweet some times when this stuff pours out of us. sounds beautiful and tragic and that is just perfect. ahhh.. writing is so theraputic.