update

So i went to my dr. appt this morning. my lady parts are healthy normal, great. my cervix is squishy, and that is suppossed to mean it's good. Oh and to top it off not only did i get handled by my dr. but she had a student. hey 2 for the price of 1 haha. anyways on to the serious stuff. i am going on birthday control. she said it would help the bleeding, headaches, and help get my periods back to normal, until i decide to have a baby. she said we should wait at least 3 months, but studies now show that after 2 weeks you can conceive and everything will be fine. i don't know what this means for us yet. it's just the stats. i feel like a science experiement. then she went over how we could monitor my ovulation for the future and that would help. we went over how it's genetic for me and most of my family who has experience this went on to have healthy babies. i got blood work done to check and see if i am anemic. i will be going back in about 2 weeks for  pap smear since i am still bleeding and they couldn't perform one. So i'm ok, physically. they also prescried me something to help relax and ease my anxiety. which will help me sleep. i opted out on getting sleeping pills. i would probably sleep forever and when i have to get up and count money in the mornings, that's won't work. So it's been a week. i feel like shit.. which i will due to all the hormones. headaches, fatigue, muscle soreness, fucken tit soreness. nothing like having your tits fondled when they are sore and hard. yea it sucked. So i am just going to fucus on going to school., being healthy for myself, quiting smoking, yes tony and i are going to do this together. so i don't know when it will happen. but soon! so just thank you everyone for being there for me listening ! i appreciate it soooo much! all of you had such good insight and advice for me and i took it all in! I will get through this tony has been well tony, he has been great! i just have to remember that he doesn't read minds and i have to tell him what i need sometimes. that's ok too, because he is just trying to be strong and be a man for us. he feels sad and disappointed but soo happy that we can get pregnant that's all he talks about. i just hope i can feel happier about which i will. when i am not so upset about this and i know we have a stable home and school is over.. and we can afford it. anyways, i am ok it will take time. so i am jsut taking one day at a time. that's all i can do . now i am going to go get my prescriptions and take a nap. much needed.