With new ideas comes new paths to follow. With new paths comes new changes. New changes brings new compromises. New compromises bring new challenges.
With so many new challenges coming my way. i don't know what it's going to mean to us. With new paths being generated with the latest events, will this bring us closer together( which i am hoping for) or will it pull us apart as we try to make our paths relevent in this world. I would never wish in a million years for tony and i to not be together. In my head I do always have it in the back of my head, well what if. Which i am sure everybody has. i just want to prepare myself for me. But i am just wondering will the me me me which we need to go through turn into me, myself, and I? Now being along has never ever been something i have had to really deal with. LITERALLY! Sometimes I sense myself pulling away from him, because of our situation at home. I just want it to be him and I. Doing this together, but other people like to be in the middle of everything and i just do not like that. So i guess what i am saying is can we make it through the next 3 years, and move away from this. That is our goal, to have the toyota paid off, all debts paid off, credit built up, our education done and ready for a new begining. so with my legalities taken place soon, hopefully it will be finalized by this summer! We still do not plan on getting married until after school, you know seperate finances equal better opportunities for schooling. i just hate having to reinforce our goals all the time. Not always knowing what he wants in the end... it bugs me. it's like i want to write out a contract and say this is what we are going for do you agree. i guess that's what marriage is for, eh?
Sometimes i just want to be educated, healthier, and away from here, NOW! But, then i know i would miss so much of my life, i have built! But, did i really build it or did the walls go up around me and i suddenly looked and was like, shit how do i get out of here? The answer: go to school, be your own person! This is what i am doing, I just hope i have enough power(bulldozer) to knock down the walls!
3 comments:
I've always said this: You are one of the most strong and powerful people I know! You have the ability to do anything that you want! As far as you and tony go...that is up to the two of you. However, it seems to me that you are both going on the same path...you are both supporting each other and paving the foundation for your relationship. You both seem to have the same goals and aspirations and you look at the long term of your relationship with everything you do. When he lost his job, one of his main concerns was he wasn't sure how he was going to support the two of you anymore and continue to put effort into the lives you are building with each other. This doesn't sound like a guy who is out to better himself and leave you in the dust. This sounds like a man who thinks not only for you, but for your relationship together.
You fuckin cute lil nuggets!
It sounds like you guys have a pretty good plan for your future really. Both going to school, working to pay off your debts in between, then marching into your life together as two strong individuals who are together because they want to be. I know its going to suck ass in between if it means staying in your current living situation, which i know drives you crazy quite often, but if it means that you will both be able to focus on your education and being more independent eventually, than hopefully that will make it worth it in the now, and you can focus on that light at the end of the tunnel.
i know it's just been hard with my job sucking and all. i just get stressed out about thinking of the process. i need to stop and realize that we are going to make it and we are strong enough to go through life together, even when it gets tough, if i even thought for a second that tony would leave, would not even be part of who he is. i am jsut worred my insecurites will take over and i would have to leave because i'm not good enough. i feel like that sometimes, especially towards other people in our household. but i will be a inspiring productive self sufficient human being with going back to school and then i will feel better about myself and our relation ship will prosper as well. thanks girls, you always make me feel bett and kelly we need to phone!
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