before bed rantings

So as we all know life is been kind of in abundance for me. don't know if i trust this. i fear everyday that it won't last and try to make the best of it, my problem is that i do have an addiction. shopping. i need and want to buy everything. it's seems minute compared to others, but i feel guilty. i could be saving this money or yea saving it for moving out. hello what the fuck am i thinking. also, i was in a convenience store on the way to my sister's and needed to pick up some smokes. this guy at the register was totally hitting on me. like really hitting on me. he was cute really super tall and big like tony, but almost like 7 feet tall. with lots of tatoos and piercings and really hot. i haven't thought another guy is really hot, since i have been with tony. like what the hell, if i wasn't with tony i would have gone back in there and talked to him and asked for his number. but, i love tony and want to spend the rest of my life with him. is it okay that i think this guy is hot, it's like i am totally just confused about this. i dont' plan on pursuing this, but damn he was so fucken yummy and let's face it who really hits on me. i mean i know i am pretty whatever and am totally worth the best, but i'm not super hot . enuff witht he low self esteem excuses i am hot and i was wearing my new make up and i did look super cute. so yea he should hit on me. it brings a new sense of hottness to my life. maybe tony will notice and we can have wild passionate sex. we are down to only like a couple of times a week. no complaints, we have busy lives and do live within close quarters to others. but we need more passion and less of him being annoying. which he as been on my nerves for like 2 days. he is at his friends house now playing wii, i stayed home and made his mom watch twilight with me. which was friggen awesome. makes me want to be a vampire again. i should be in bed, i have to be up in like 7 hours. i only have to work 4 hours, so no big deal. then i have like 4 hours off then i work 4 hours on friday morning. then that monday, starts the beginging of madness at macy's behind the scenes.
so i did forget to mention i got a diamond pin award at work. for providing outstanding customer service and dedication to the company. i was nominated by the store manager along with 14 other people. i got a cool star pin with a diamond in it and a paid day off and of course the awesome recognition. so work is good and life is good my dogs are good. it just needs more balance within my self and a good plan of budgets and things with tony. it's good and i can't wait to see everyone in june. so looking forward to that. okay i need to go to bed, good nite.