Where have all the raimbows gone?

MyHotComments

So this is for the fact that sometimes i totally feel like just running away from my life. i start to feel it all caving in, like everything is just nothing, my life isn't what i want it to be and i'm just not happy with what it's become. I go through these moods, then come on i can't control them. i totally try everything to stop them.i have no motivation to go and work out or do anything out of my comfort. and i think that's my problem,just doing what i need to do and not worry about what might happen or what others think. but these moods, lately they are repetitive and i get in a funk and it drains me. i feel lonely, lost, our of place, and out of body. i don't know who i am and i just want to run away and leave all of this behind because i feel wasted and useless. so i just wanted to talk about that, then i remember that people are dying to just have somewhere to live a little bit of money ane some foods to eat. i am lucky i have great friends, life and all thatjazz. it's up to me to make it worthwhile and better and do things to improve them.

it's an upsidey weird thingy!

so the news is that my friend hasn't had her surgery yet, her arteries and veins were so coroted and her heart was in such bad condition that she couldn't even have a biopsy, so they are suppossed to do that either today or tuesday, then she will let me know, they really don't even know what it is, they think it's cancer, but it looks so weird, that they are having specialists from seattle come up this week. i just pray she will make it through this. and that this can be the end to her suffering, like jerei said, she does need new karma! would could she have possibly done to deserve this and she doesn need to rethink her brain. so if everyone could possibly put some prayers in for her, it would mean so much to me and jerei! so that is the news.

too close to home!

Something came to my attention, that i have never had to deal with personally. Something that i always heard others have or taken care of but, i thought i have finally gone through enough, then it hits. My good friend jean, has come down with breast cancer, She has to have both of them removed on friday, It has currently also gone to her lymph nodes. so the doctors don't think it is very good, and that she possibly couldn't be looking at a terminal cancer situation. all with in a week, to find out,get tests, surgery, recover, then possibly not make it! I don't think she has realized it or accepted and i know i haven't either. it is just so much. since she doesn't really have anyone, i am going to go with her on friday, and she will be in mt. vernon at their cancer center, so i will only be 10 minutes away. hopefully she can get a hole of jerei soon, so maybe he can come up and support her and keep me company. i just don't think i am ready to loose her, i have come to know her as a friend, mother, and even though we haven't really been that close in the last couple of years, i just don't know if i can handle it. i know i can but, i don't want to. this record of loosing someone close every 2 years, well, it might keep on track. i doh't like it, but they happen, it's like you can feel it, gosh that's horrible, i couldn't imagine, not having her to talk to ,yea know, and not even close to imagine how she must feel, she has alreay gone through so much in her life, she deserves, to have it good, once ya know and be relaxed. i just hope the tests come out better than she thinks and it will all be over soon and she can get on with her life. i love her like a mom and feel like being selfish, ya know. okay i will keep you updated and maybe i should just call jerei myself and have him call her!

recycling!!!

So i am giving your some useful information into saving the environment and getting free products! From March 10-May 10 you can recycle any used bottle caps( they do not recycle, did not know that) through any aveda store or through the mail. i got this information from SHAPE MAGAZINE. I went to the site shape.com/aveda, but it does not exist so i wrote to the magazine. hopefully we can get the information of the details for this event. it would be really exciting to be able to save these items form going into landfills and destroying lives of baby animals who swallow these materials and end up dying of malnutrion. how horrible is that, i couldn't believe that people wouldn't recycle this and why is this stuff ending up in our oceans and other bodies of water. so i think it would be so beneficial to be part of this process, and get a free product from the company. so i will let you know on the details if i get any. Go green not mean!

yea !!!! i am groovy!

so i officially have a new phone! still so excited about it! my first phone all by myself, well sort of, whatever, it's mine. and it's the perfect plan and i am sure i have let everyone else know so yea call me i love it! until i actually have to pay the bill. but, i will be responsible and do it myself , thank you very much. so it is way cute and red and really cute! can't you just hear me say that like really fast, i know you can. anyways, i am tired my eyes hurt and i am going out for a smokie and some coffee,then a asprin and then dinner. yea yea yea! phone for erin