Life isn't always fair... ya know!!!

So i would like to share that i have really awesome news and some not so good news. The good news is that i had a job interview for the hospital today. it's for the housekeeping dept.(which i have a ton of experience in) it starts at like 12 dollars and hour, union, and well, it's a job. which i have technically been out of work for like 8 months this year. I don't find out until tomorrow if i actually have the job or not. it starts as on-call reserve, which sucks, i thought it was a full-time job. but it's a step in the door, since most places hire with-in. So it's a great opportunity. if i do not get this job, i will be coming to iowa. But it i get it, well i will have to wait. i know i want to come visit so bad and see everyone. But i guess everything happens for a reason. and well you know all the rest, but i have to remember, that i need to take care of what i need to move out, pay bills off, and be a partner to tony. Those are my main priorities. i have to remind my self of this sometimes, because half of me wants to refuse it, come visit for 3 weeks and say what the hell, i have waited this long, why not wait any longer, that's how much i miss everyone, but the other half has to know how much i love my life with tony( more so when we have a place of our own. So i am going to be responsible, and i hope everyone will send the best energies my way, to guide me in this difficult time. cause damn, i wanna get the hell our of here and see my girls. like so bad. but, till i find out, you never know. just pray that whever i decided is what is best for me. thanks and i hope you girls understand. and i also know, that something always silly happens when i make plans, and i totally like had everyone's hopes up, i didn't intentionally do this, i hope you all know.but, i will also be really happy if i get this job, which means i will have all of my own money, and can save up and be myself, again. ok love everyone so much.