i loathe the 1st. and may just damn the 2nd. if i make it to 3rd i am taking it all!

Advice: never get married unless you plan on spending your life with them forever! even if you think it will never happen, just don't marry on a whim just because you are nice stupid fucken retarded or whatever. worst mistake of my life, can't get rid of em, and they take all of your fucken money. i can't find him, so i can get rid of him. fucken asshole, wish i could make him disappear or appear so he could sign some fucken papers. i want to just ahghas;dlgkas;dfkjasd;lfk;asdkjf. so don't get married, unless you know it will be for real and ya know, just don't do it. ever jsut never it's dumb, papers and shit. ahhghghgd;asdlkfj;sdlgk . so pissed off i want to zs;dfkaj;sdlfkj;asldkf;askdfj;.. ahhhhhhhh!

more pictures of my puppies

Challenge number 1

As my first day with my promotion, yesterday, i had to live up to it and take in my first challenge. my supervisor asked me to deal with a suit rep, that was in the store. she said that it would make more sense for me to talk with her about the signing and markdowns and placing of the suits, instead of her relaying it back to me,so she asked me to deal with her. Gave me the impression that it was goin to be stressful and someone who would be stuck up and really rude. they have a tendency to be that way, considering that they are representing suits that are worth hundreds of dollars, that's the impression they give off. okay to continue, i went over and introduced myself, we talked about how some of the suits were missed during markdowns a week ago, not good. so we went over that marked them, i made like 6 signs, going back and forth form one end of the store to the other, of course the sign shop has to be furthest away from suits. then we remerchandised like 4 racks. it was only like a 30 minute consultation, as we would say. it went well,she was really nice and i got a new look on how important each brand, which is a department in the store, is important along with each division, which includes many departments( brands, or several brands put together), as the whole things flows together in the store. this will be interesting to see as what other reps and challenges i will endure, along with organizing the other store, and the girls who have been their for years. wish me luck.

yea promotion

yea i totally got my promotion today! yea i am officially the lead signing associate for both the women's and home store! which means a pay raise and more responsibility! so that totally made my day! also i have been babysitting my friend's dog sweetpea, while her dog walker is having the flu, bumber for her! that's okay for me because i get to have three dogs for the afternoons! i totally feel like i am a mom with kids, but i have dogs! so all is good and i'm making chicken with mushroom sauce and cheese tortellinis's and olive french bread! so exvited about that! yummy and i am so hungry!

may i blow smoke in your face?

so i as i was enjoying my first break at work on tuesday, with 2 fellow employees. we were sitting on the bench really enjoying our cigarettes. when at 7:30 in the morning in the front of macy's a car pulls up. then pull up to the curb and 2 older gentlement get out of the car. one girl goes, don't tell me, it's jehovah witness'? low and behold, it was they started greeting us, then preaching about the miserable suffering we endure in this country. they offer some literatur, one accepts, i refuse as does the other girl. we does this politely, thank you very much. then they continue to preach about jesus. then the other man opens up with have you heard what the pastor said about the shottings in our area recently, we had a mass murder in skagit county about 10 miles north of here, to five miles south, 6 died and 4 injured, very devestating. the one girl says, you are in the wrong place to be talking about what we have heared, about the devestation in our communities. we realize what happened, we don't need to be preached about the devestation, thank you very much. they accepted and turned to their car and drove away. interesting, we thought the audacity to approach people sitting out in front of a mall early in the morning to preach, very odd, i thought, actually i found it rude. i like to go to preachers, them not come to me. my comfort level may be different then others, but this was just odd.

work, ahhhh! enuff already!

ahhhhh.... i am really frsutrated right now. i left work early this morning. i have worked 8 days in a row, getting up early each day, working the one day sale. really stressful,i feel like i don't have a life at all. by the time i get home with all the things i have to do, then it's dinner time and go to bed and get up and do it all over again. no down time, bad for erin. i really haven't had 2 days off in a row in like 3 weeks. ahhh. so i told my supervisor i need to know how many points i have for my attendence, and she asked if it was because i wanted to leave. she assumed it was because i didn't want to process on the dock. well, i don't mind it, it's not my favorite thing to do. none of the other girls had to work that many days, and most of them took pto's or called out, so i am stuck doing the work. wtf. then she had to lecture me on how my attitude affects getting a promotion and my willingness to be positve regardless of the duties i am given. well, duh. but i need a day off i need to relax and just be with my self, my stuff, my family, dogs, my people, just my self. i am jsut too overwhelmed and starting to be bitchy. not good for me or my coworkers. so we'll see. the other girl who applied for the lead signing position has been their for almost 5 years. so, she said that if she doesn't get the position, she is going to quit. whatever, so many people just not happy, i guess. i just belive that i deserve the poisiotn, because of the hardwork, and the fact i have been signing the whole store, basically by myself for a while. i really want the promotion,i belive i can get it.so on monday i am goign to express my feelings taht i have stated her to my supervisor and hopefully i can get this off my chest and getsome feedback from her on it. so i am home and now my ear is starting to hurt, probably due to the guilt for leaving early.

i am back!!!

so fellow bloggers, i am officially back from the brink of non existence. so if you haven't hear i broke the computer we just put in our room, i was exchanging the monitor and i pulled the connection too hared, i didn't realize that it was screwed in. so tony took it to get fixed and i guess is was connected to the motherboard, wtf. but, since it's a pretty new computer, they could bypass that and just put in a new media card, so yea, not to spend either! so i am no longer messing with the computer. i am onto day 3 of 8 again. wtf, i just want to scream sometimes, just to sleep in and have nothing to do, i wish i could do this! but when i get it i don't know what to do with myself. so i guess i just have to deal with life and just work. i also applied for the lead signer position, which gives me 40 cent raise and a guaranteed 30 hours a week, which will up my benefits to full time, yea! i would be in charge of the signing for both stores, training, organizing and workload schedules, which i do basically for the womens rtw store. so that's a plus, i don't know if anyone else will apply, but my manager told me to apply for it, so i guess that is a good thing. the doggies are doing well, i found out that teddy is not fully vaccinated, so we have to get that taken care of, piss me off. but, it will all taken care of. so i need to go to bed soon, and go to work. so there i blogged. good nite!

I am a morning person now, wtf?

so it has come to my attention, that when the sun goes down and as i wind down, i have a few friends who possible stay up later than i. because i am old and go to bed early. i just want to say that it is nothing personal, no against anyone, but i am so tired sometimes that i just don't have anything to say or cannot keep up a conversation on the phone. i just don't have the inclination to be enthusiatic. i am sorry for this! i apparently am a boring person past 9 at nite. so when you do call and i don't really have that much to say or do not seem interested, that's because i am tired. i want to talk for like hours, and reminice about everything and hear everyone's new stories and talk about life and boys and stupid shit. but i just can't that late at nite. it's really bothering because their are certain people i don't get to talk to that much and when i do i feel like i cannnot give my full attention. please don't be mad and hate me. i miss you all and love you so much and want to be knowing of all your things. i just have so much going on and stuff to get ready for the next day, that i am constantly not that exiting in the evening. so if you call early in the mornings, or the afternoon i will be super excited. i keep going on but, i just wanted you to know that i am hear and you do matter! to me to me!

good times!

so i am super excited! we officially have a computer working with internet in our bedroom. our own personal computer we don't have to share with anyone, or worry about people bitching about what we do on the computer! yea. i need to get a new printer compatible with this computer, but in due time! it started being really frustrating becausei couldn't find the cd for programming our usb adapter, we tried downloading it onto this computer, customer service all that crap, so we just bought a new one, and well, here we are! yea i am so excited. i am also really happy because my new dog is doing very well, adjusting to his life, i have learned to be less up tight and no worry so much about what bad he is doing or where he is all the itme. which led to him just being curious, and not really getting into trouble, no peeing in the house, no show biting, and well really liking the water. we have a pond in our backyard, like a waterfall one that is landscaped and stuff, he plays in the waterfall, goes into the pond and tried to get bugs and drinks out of there. hasn't gotten any of the koi or goldfish yet, so let's hope he doesn't eat sharron's fish! he also loves to be out in the rain, what a weirdo. it's all good, he's adjusting and enjoying his freedom. as for my brucey. well, he is such a big baby, craves cuddle time with all of us, still a little jeoulous, but always my baby, he sleeps on my side! and tony has his little baby. and brucey is still not liking the energetic part of teddy, so when that happens he barks and barks because he wants to play. silly little dogs, i love them both so much and want more. ahh i have a pomeranian addiction!

week 1 of august 2008!!!

so i am putting up a new blog, i have been super busy these past couple weeks with the new dog and all, he now sits, goes out the doggy door, doesn't pee, unless, it's by something new, so we don't put new stuff down onto the floor, i am getting the rest his papers tomorrow after work, fianlly. and some of his toys and crate, so its just been hectic, walking and playing and grooming, not just one but two stuck up self centered pomeranians, i think that's just their nature, it's more like that have attitude and just want to do what they think that should do, kind oflike a cat, but they come to me when i call them. and work, well, it's been hectic, the new girl quit, so here i am again, doing it by myself, and it's one day sale next week, ahhh! i got a new computer in my room, it just needs internet hook up so hopefully soon! and it's warm here, too warm for my liking , i need it to be like 65 at the most all the time and i would be totally temp happy! oh and bruce is a little jeoulous of teedy, but that's too be expected. it works out, and bruce definately tells you he is there, and teddy well, he doesn't bark only when he wants bruce to play, so like once a day if that. also, he totally drools excessively in the car and now i think he is afraid to go for rides. i have to work on that, abecause he has to get used ot it. so wish me luck and prayers for this! oh and tony is back working and got a raise, so yea! we can get caught up on bills and stuff and totally start saving! love you all and have a great first week of august!

Teddy

So this is a picture of Teddy. He is supper cute, 9 months old, pure breed akc certified male, unfixed pomeranian. he is lots of dk. borwn lowlights, and cute little white back toes, and one one toe nail, the other are all black. his right front paw is a little crooked so i wouldn't be able to show him i think professionally, because of the paw, so i think if i the trial week goes well, and i get to keep him, i will definately get him neutured. then he will be less likely to take off, piss on everything and just get lazy and fat, then it's up to me to walk them all the time. just as long as bruce puts up with it and isn't all butt hurt. so wish us luck and a few prayers and positive energy waves thrown my way, because i really like this dog and he needs a good home. oh and another plus he is free!! which he is actually worth like 500-700 dollars, wtf! but i would have a pack of dogs and other animals if i could. so yea!!!

the end of week 3 of july 2008

So i made it through 7 days of nonstop work at macy's. it ended with me working like 2 extra hours yesterday, and on top of that we had a visit from the head honcho and another managment team from seattle. wtf. stressed and went 4 hours with out a break or a smoke. that sucked! but all is good, the rents got home from another vacation, took us for sushi and habachi, we have a new restaurant in town! yea it was awesome, and green tea ice cream rocks! oh and the new girl at my work is very cool, we have a lot in common and i think we are going to hang out this weekend and go shopping or something silly! which is great, i love getting new friends that i can totally relate to and have fun with! and maybe getting another pomeranian, his name is teddy and he is black and medium size, about 4 years old, i believe, i might meeet him this weekend, and them introduce him to bruce. then he would have to come over here and stay and see how that works out, i don't want to bring another dog in unless i know ti will work, and you know more attention taken away from bruce, well, that
s another story. it will cost more like to go to the groomer every month, the vet, walking, food, treats. i kind of didn't take that into consideration until today, after his parents said i could get him if bruce is okay with it and he can learn to use the doggy door and stay in the yard, so we'll see. and i started my walk this morning. got up at 6, showered walked up hill to the end of the sidewalk the main road from my neighborhood, a good 45 minutes. i have eaten 2 apples already today and lots of water, and i am going to do this, get healthy, loose weight and stick to it, while keeping up on being active! i need to do this and i will, so i think today i will put up my inspiration board. so i am off for 4 days, if anyone wants to call, i'll be ready for some conversation! but, if it's past 10 i might not answer at nite, i am lame and an old person, i go to bed early! sorry folks, i have been officially brainwashed! the end!!!

hello, week 3 of july 2008

hello... world... hello people... i am alive...sometimes... maybe blurly... a little lost.... don't know what to say... so this is my blog... goodbye

another day... can i get a slice?

well it's tuesday afternoon and it's actually starting to cool down a bit, it's been really warm here, i had a great 4th of july, i should put up pictures, i will do that soon, i suppose. i had to work the next morning, so i was really tired. so me and my sister vegged all the next day. tony played poker with some buddies, so kelly got to finally experience some thai food with me! yea it was great and i got her to eat tofu! so i don't have to work tomorrow i am really tired, just finished a romantic novel by nicholas sparks, i am a junkie for his books, but they are so good and easy to read, just love them it only took me a day to read it, was that good! alicia you should read this one! i just love reading about people and the intriqit details, is that how you spell that word, intriquite? mmm not for sure, that's a first i am always good at spelling. oh well. so i am just chillin at home. drinking some tea, my financial aide for school isn't going as planned, the whole married to a retard part of my life i can't seem to get rid of is catching up with my real life. but, that too will pass and be over soon, i am going down this week to file, again. other than that i want pizza for dinner, i have been working a lot, i know i don't sound enthusied, because i am not. just hot and kind of moody, for whatever reason. i just thought i would say hello. maybe i will have more to say later tonite.

blue jays once again, ruined it all...

I knew from above that i would be, a person of light and dark, from the breathe of might. No one can take me away from that. okay so i thought i had a poem going for me but the blue jays are squaking outside my window. they taunt me you see. is it wrong to hate the blue jay? Tony thinks that it is my spirit guide. but, why? mmmm?

May your wings be spread, with the gusts of light, that descend upon you from heaven above.
May you fly so free, from the gust of winds, that keep you grounded in pain.
May you smile so brightly, from the kiss of life, that spins in your soul.
May you tread ever so lightly, upon the ground you walk, from this is where I come to you.

week 3 of june 2008

so it's a new week, i plan on going to the college tomorrow to get signed up for school. hoping that i can get a pell grant, depending on my marital status, it might affect it, so pray for me to get one! also i have tomorrow off from work, which i desperately needed for some reason. besides, the school thing, i just need time to myself. sarah's last day was today, and we still don't have anyone new to help me. so maybe i need this time to reflect how i handle stress and the duties, i need to perform well. i pray for this week to be effortlessly wonderful! also, the rents are out of town for a while and that's nice too. like tony and i have our own place and we just get to be, i love it like this! soon, we will get to have it like this all the time! SOON! well, i am also looking forward to this weekend, i think we might go to the drive-in, i hope i get to see get smart, it looks like it will be really funny! last weekend i saw sex in the city, agiain! my friend, sabrina, hadn't seen it yet, so obliged, and went! i love the series and the movie and carrie is my favorite, so if you haven't gone, you should, because it is friggen awesome! well, i am just blabbing, to blab. tomorrow will be productive and worthwhile! thank you!

new haircute!!!

So i am finally putting up pictures of my new haircut. i am totally loving now that the girl from my work fixed it. it has lots of layers in the back and the side, i don't know if you can tell too much. but all i have to do is blowdry it and a little straigtening in the morning and i am good to go. it's nice having a haircut that doesn't take so long to prepare. it is a little short for me. but i love it, i have a little style to it and it's great! oh and this is the silly picture of me and tony it 's great that i can still be in love with this man after 4 years. he knows me more that i know myself sometimes, and for him to be around and be as silly as in the beginging. well, i love it!

educate yourself!

I just got done watching and incredible movie. Charlie wilson's war. if you haven't seen it yet, well you should. so many things are happening to us now, because of these situations. did you know that because we skipped out so soon from afghanastan in the early eighties, did not help them rebuild and support them after we gave so much, that is the reason why they hate us so much over there. i mean, they think we are satan. we gave them weapons and trained them, so they could fight the soviets. then as soon as we acoomplished it, that was it. that their were men in congress who didn't give a fuck about fixing schools, and housing for these people. it amazes me that we haven't been fucking bombed by everyone. that is why we are where we are in the war with the middle east. i can't believe that just some help and support after all that money and pushing to get that accomplished and we backed out. we ended up with 9/11 people we love and know going to war, and we wonder why? well, that's why because of politics, because we as a nation are not informed. well, maybe we all shouldn't be. i am done with that, i need to make a difference somewhere, i need to know more. i need to know that i can count on my government to stand up for me and my needs. and it doesn't matter what party you go for or how much the candidates say pretty things anymore. it comes down to this. who do you think is going to make the difference, push us to the limits as people with information, to help our situations. it's just not a few, it's all of us, we need to be educations on international affairs. what can we do for our country?

if only the leaves fluttered ever so lightly, would i hear your voice?

so sometimes i may not be what you want me to be. sometimes i am what you always wanted. sometimes i am everything that you want to be. and sometimes i am never going to be quite like you. but, right now , i am me ever loving, ever changing, and ever questioning. my right as a person, friend, lover, and everything before and after. i am curious as to why you are the way you are, curious as to why i am this way to you and everyone else. what does it mean to me? well, what does it mean to you?