what... is .. this... crap....give me candy!

well, ladies and gents: i am currently in a state of i don't know what the fuck. i got off work early and i have watched t.v., done my hair, nails, ate lunch, computered, i believe that i am actually bored. you see, when i get off work early, unless i am going somewhere or doing a project or laundry, idon't have anything to do or anyone to see except for my dad or sister. either everyone lives to far to go see or they are working all day. this really sucks, i don't have any friends that are really close to me here. i have a few that i see like a couple of times a year, but that's it, just tony and i. i am boring right now. so i should really think of something to do with this wasted time. for now i think i will go and get a coffee, but i should be going to the gym, taking some classes, something. well, by tomorrow i will have my gym dues paid off. ( and sierra, don't need to say it to me again.) but why am i not going to school for something? i could take courses on-line, anything. so i am just chilling, reading magazines and contemplating what to cook with dinner, i only have 2 potates, i guess i could make rosemary potates, mmm oven roasted with garlic and thyme and olive oil, salt and pepper, mmmmm me want taters. ok well, i don't really have anything importatnt to say. oh well, the rents are going on vacation for like 2 weeks, i take them to the airport on monday. so that's cool. other than that, i am at a loss. okay bye now!

well.. i may be free soon!

So i would like to let all you lovely peeps know that i may be officially signing some important papers on tuesday. i will be officially a free women, with the endless possibiliteis of my current relationship. i know it's about time, but all is in due time. I can finally carry on what i want in my life, without that baggage pulling me down. He is coming down on tuesday, hopefully he will remember the papers. we are having lunch and will sign on the dotted line. woo-hoo. Then hopefully sooner than later i can be mrs. stokes, how cool would that be. we talk about it all the time, you know where it's going to be, he wants one in vegas, but i want it to be close to home with all my favortie people's. so maybe we could get married there and come back here for a reception. then we want to go to either the somewhre tropical or ireland to drink all the guinness we can take. Our colors will probably be gold and burgandy. it's funny how we talk about this like we are actually going to do it soon. i just want some time to be erin cadden, officially, again. But, no matter what happens, i don't regret a thing, everything is laid in place and happend for a reason. Then big decision would be to who i would have in my wedding party. so there alicia i wrote something knew, hope you are happy!

Christmas

so christmas was really good this year! I had to work christmas eve, only till ten in the morning. Then i came home and tony had alreay started making more cookies. he went to finish shopping and brought me back with some tea and a sandwich. We made peanut brittle with my sister. Sugar spice cookies that i decorated the stars and trees, white chocolate dipped pretzels with christmas colored sprinkles, and fudge with marshmellows and peppermint. we were busy and sure made a mess of the kitchen, but he and his mom chipped in and helped me. thankful for that! we finally figured out how to make the cookie press, it's awesoame, thanks santa 2 years ago! Then we got ready to go up to the ranch for fondue! it was pretty good, i got burned, but it's worth it for the beer battered shrimp i made with sweet and sour sauce! then the bread and cheese, nmmmmm yummmy! we had to leave early to come home for our christmas.
My sister joined us christmas eve, so we all opened our presents early, because tony's dad had to work the next morning. Everyone loved their gifts! Tony got me a new black leather jacker, it zips up and is so cool, a little small, but i decided i will loose weight to get it zipped up past my boobs, but who zips their up anyways? My sister was happy with all the gifts from macy's that i got her! we got to do the stockings early too, which was awesome, socks, kaluha and chocolate! we all hung out in the living room with our new jammies and watched amazing race, ( we recorded it from sunday). so all in all it was great.
Then on christmas morning i woke up and had a really bad pain in my left side and pressured was building up and pushing on my bladder. i finally went to the e.r. in incredible pain. Found out that i had a bladder infection, almost close to getting my kidneys, because their was lots of blood and protein in my urine. weird, but they gave me anibiotics and pain medicine. i felt better right away, but after a while and right as we sat down for the best dinner ever, i had to go throw up. then i had like a few bites. but i got to spend the day with my family and our friend sabrina, with her dog and my dad's wiley. they all got along. and my dad, tony, and his dad jack sat around drinking scotch, and had a good time. i love my family i have, they all mean so much to me, even when i want to hate them! But, this was a great christmas and i couldn't ask for anything more. except for maybe a designer bag, hahah kidding. but i am feeling better, even though i had to call in sick to day. the first one ever, i felt bad, but i need to get better! So i hope all of you had a great time! Oh and we get to see j.p. this weekend, too bad alicia isn't here either, butt head. but i love you anyway! happy holiday!

It's been a while...

So i have realized i haven't blogged in a while. i have been so busy getting up early for work, running errands all day, keeping the house organized, cooking dinners, shopping for christmas, visiting people, that i just have time to read through stuff and that's about it. if tony is home on any of my days off, he takes over the computer. so i had to be a work at 4 this morning, which meant getting up at 2:45. i have to admit i looked pretty good for that early. then i spend all day getting packages out and stuff that i finally sat down and relaxed at like 2, then fell asleep from 3:30 until 5:30. so it felt nice. i work all week, then i actually have my first weekend off. i think i am going to make candy like peanut brittle, cookies, maybe some fudge. i already made my grand marnier. it's almost ready, you have to shake and let it sit for like 10 days to get the full wonderful taste of it. then i can make awesome cosmos. you know, cranberry juice gran marnier,fresh squeezed lime and shake, they are delicious! so i am almost done christmas shopping,. Then i will feel a little more relaxed, i think. it's always a rush to get this person this and that person this, that i don't ever think that i am totally satisfied with what i get. so hopefully this weekend i can get it all done. so i hope everyone has a great holiday, because i know i will!oh and have a great week!

What is this?

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I love cookies! And i believe this goes with saying. That sometimes you are expecting something when you realize you get something that you really don't want. I know this applies to relationships. There are many times i get things or shit happens and i am like what the fuck is this shit. But you can't always get what you assume you are entitled too!. i think that since people love me they should do things for me all the time and never think of themselves because i should come first. Well, i do this to tony all the time. i shouldn't, i know but, i always feel like i do everything for him and i need to remember to do things for him too! just like tony bought me a box of peanut brittle today, i ate it all so i had to make him chocolate milk. so i am just saying that not everything is the way it is and sometimes cookie monster will just have to have some fruit, it's good for you, too! which is to say things that you don't want and you end up getting are good for you and you never knew it! good day!

That's how it goes.

Well, today didn't go as smoothly as I wanted. It started from last nite with me not getting to sleep when i wanted to. I smeared my nail polish so i had to redo them this morning. When i got up i laid around for too long, which made me like 5 minutes late for work. Then work started out rough. i had to do the i.a. dept. all by my self, preparing for the special 2 day sale tomorror. Which i really don't know what i am doing, especially when my supervisor has no clue, because he is new. But i finally got it down and well as long as i remember where everything is tomorrow, i will do good. But they keep pulling me away from different areas and i can't get back in time and when i'm not there, my section doesn't get done, so whatever. hopefully i can just be the intimate apparel person and they can get there stuff back in order. Enough of work. I made the ultimate Erin. i locked my keys in my car at work. They were on my front seat i guess i left them there when i went to my car on last break. grrr mad grrrr arg. So i had to call my dad to come and resuce me, because tony was at work, everyone else was gone and all of the people i work with left already. So i had to wait for an hour because there was a car fire on the high way, so my dad had to turn around. whatever, stupid car fire. So i fianlly got home 90 minutes later, still don't have my car, because i thought tony had his set with him, but i just found them haning on the key thing and my dad already left. whatever. i am going to bed early will do my nails, have everything ready and i have to get up at 3 to be at work by 4, until 9. Then i finally get paid, so i am going to cash it take my dad out for breakfast. then back to the slave mines on saturday. life is grand. also, i am taking the spare key and will put it in my wallet, so this shit doesn't happen again. i'm friggen tired, hungry need a shower and still have to do laundry. ahhhhhh what would i do if i had kids. not ever going to happen. well, i might change my mind like some other day, but for today nonono.

nonsense... can't think of anything else.. too tired. have fun!

This is for the people who i call and never answer, i believe this is what could possibly be going on.... i don't know, but if you are an individual who doesn't answer my calls, then...u sicko!

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The second week...only time will tell....

So i have made it to my second week of work. It's going really well, i had to officially learn the intimate apparrel dept. today and it sucked. not only are there sales, but every style of different color of different brand is on sale, and it's all pretty different. i will just have to get used to it. i'm supposed to be full time but, my schedule says i am only working till 10 most days, which sucks. i checked my check on-line, which is awesome, since i don't get paid till friday, but i can check it in case i want direct deposit, then i can print it off for my records, neat huh. so i know how much i am getting on friday, but it's not as much as i would like, but hopefully after the holidays, less people will be working, to get things done and i can get more hours, which would be awesome, plus i get paid every friday. So yea. I am still tired and feet hurt, but not as bad, i just have to get used to it. The only bad thing, on friday i have to be at work at 4, because of a big sale, oh well. so that's all for my second week. Every one is nice and i have at least one person to hang out with, that works my schedule. it rules!
But, there's one thing. I feel like a totally different person. i get up at 4 do my hair and make-up , get to wear decent clothes and work in a really nice place, i should get more money for this!. It's just weird because i am not a morning person, but on my day off i got up at 6:30. I was afraid to sleep in because i would ruin my routine and schedule. it's weird. I just, well, feel so awesome about myself!. I am more active eating less, happier and well just happier. so it's good maybe next year will be my year.

Some interesting facts...about me!

This is the mince meat monster that my sister and I did for thanks giving, it was our first pie we have ever made together. We silly!

I was so thoughtfully tagged by angel... so i am suppossed to release 7 facts about myself, possibly something not every one knows. So here it goes...

1. I absolutely love clothes, shoes purses, you name it I love it! So i recently got a job at Macy's. yea yea yea! I get to go through clothes all day long. Which means that I know when sales are going to be on before they happen, because I se them up. I also put things in the clearance racks. I love it! They have a women's world and so cool, because my size clothes are always on sale and i get to go through them. Besides that i have an infinite collection of fashion magazine. They are pilled up all over my room from vogue, marie claire, cosmo, lucky, jane, instyle, just to name a few. I keep them all because I am convinced that I will need to look something up or will but out my favorite items and scrapbook them. Yea it will happen like never. So i just have magazine everywhere!

2. I watch food network, all day long, non stop. If i happen to be home and the t.v. is on I am probably watching it! I love it, eating food, cooking it, watching people cook it! I learn so much on here. So i am constantly trying out new recipes on my family. Some are not so good, but they seem to eat it. Then I get ideas, because someday I will finish my own cookbook. Still collaborating and thinking of a theme, name, etc.

3. I can't wait to be a grandma. This is the time when I can actually spend all day cooking, cleaning and going places, because i am retired. Then i can wear lots of gaudy matchy jewelry with my grama clothes. It will be so fun, baking, hanging out with kids I can get rid of at the end of the day and just chill with some wine with my old man by the fire. Gee I think i do that now with out the kids and traveling. well i have some working to do. But i do want to wear crazy old lady clothes and have bright red lipstick. Golden girls will be my heros.

4. My boyfriend Tony is spoiledand i love him beyond infinity. I make his lunch everyday, usually dinner, and well i don't do breakfast, because i leave before he even gets up. I also do all his laundry, clean house and make sure the little thing are done. I make his chocolate milk, well when I am in the mood. But i do this because i think if I do the things that make him happy, he will do the same for me. So Now when I want water, he usually gets it for me, i always forget before i go to bed. Every Sunday morning i make him a specialy breakfast, like biscuits and gravy, eggs benedict, or scrambles or omlettes. I love my babe so much, he is the best thing that has come my way and i intend to keep it that way. And no I don't really think I should buy him an xbox 360 live for x-mas, but i probly will if I have the money. I love him so much I think i hate him.

4. I love blankets. I have like any kind of throw blanket you can think of . I really like to use a different one all the time and switch them out, so if you ever need to give me something, a really cute blanket will do the trick. I trade them with my dog, sounds funny I know. But he actually steals them for me, so well maybe he has a blankie fetish.um.. kinky. But anything soft and fuzzy and well enuff to cover me from chin to toes, well do me good. i feel like curling up with one now!

5. My far away dream is: To right for a fashion magazine in a big city. Have a really cute apartment with a stoop, so I can hang out and drink coffee. My place would be decorated like shappy sheik. I wouldn't need a car to get anywhere, because it would either be walkable or public transportation. I would have one small animal and come home drink wine and eat noodle salads with my critter and watch the city. I would go to cool parties at cool bars, but still be a down to earth girl. Hence my love and addiction for SEX AND THE CITY. Well, if i had to be single and working, wouldn't it be great. Someday if i have to... It would be great.

6. I have a gym member ship: I go to water aerobics, to help stretch and heal my herniated disc, sciatica and really short muscles that I have in my left leg. It's fun, i need to pay my dues, so I can go again. It's a whole bunch of mainly older ladies, except for me and my friend sabrina. it's a great workout and i feel so much more energized, eat less and feel better about my self, confidence, esteem. it's grea to work out, now if i could only follow my advice and actually loose weight, in time it will come.

7. I love coffee! Triple venti vanilla latte. I have to drink these, week wouldn't be complete without a couple. I usually just drink regular coffee and vanilla creamer in the mornings for work, but when i have extra cash and need a pick me up, I hand over one of my many coffee cards and $3,50. I know it's crazy, but a little indulgence is what puts a smile on my face!

Now i am suppossed to tagg other people and link, but i don't understand that i can't even get my pictures right. So I will comment that people have been tagged then they can do this survey. Hope i did this right, if not i attempted it and that's what counts.. now have fun!

NEW JOB!!!

It's official... I have a job! I am a signing asssociate for Macy's Northwest in Burlington at the mall. It's so cool! I start at 5 in the morning and get off at1:30. I do all the sale sign and mark things down, so i totally know when all the sales are!. Also i get a 20% discount which can only be used on a macy's credit card, so i get to have one of those too! Can't you see me with a really awesome bag? Well, i get to wear just about anything that is nice, i don't work too much with the public, because we actually don't open until 10 in the morning. So i am just totally excited that i have a job, that pays well, it pays. but, i am working, tired as hell, and hopefully not wasting my life away. i have so many opportunites to move up in the company. I just really hoping that they will keep me permanately. Then i can get benefits, then finally get so new eye glasses, yes i am going blind. well, not really, but close enuff. So just to let everyone know, i will be in bed by 8:30 and up at 3:30, can you image that, me up early, well i am doing it and my dog still thinks he should go with me, so i have to play with him in the morning. it's like having a kid, abecause he totally pouts when i leave. Well, i need to finish laundry, get dinner prepared and i am so tired. so yea i have a job, that one is for you kelly, because you had to remind me to put up a post. k bye!

Green Bean Casserole... a must for turkey day.!

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Libra

You're the sign most likely to upstage the host or hostess with your charm. Your signature dish: Green bean casserole Your signature dessert: Chocolate cake This holiday: Make plans early and stick to them. It's easy for you to change your mind.

What's" Your Thanksgiving Horoscope?

I'M FAMOUS...CAN'T U TELL?

It's just another week...

I really don't have that much exciting news, yet . I have had 2 interviews today, one with the dry cleaners.,"glow cleaners" and Fred Meyers Grocery store. The dry cleaners have 36 hours, pay 8.5/hour, with no benefits, yet it's a small locallly owned business, with the owners living above the store, which is good for the community i live in. The other is starting with 20 hours, maybe more, depending on who calls-in, up 13 an hour, including union, benefits, when i do get to full-time. so it's a toss up, on who actually calls me first or if another company calls me. Whicn i do hope somebody does, the cleaners will call me by friday and the other in like 3-5 days. so i just need a job, christmas is coming so sooon, and i have like no money for that and i have so many bills to pay off, it's just ridiculous. i can't believe i got myself into this predicament. Everything does happen for a reason and god never gives me anything i can't handle. so only time will tell. i will get everything paid off, move out and life will just be so. until then, i need to work my butt off! so hope everyone else is doing good! oh and i go on the big shopping trip down to seattle this weekend for the soroptomist, tony's mom volunteers for them, so i get to help! yea i get money for my birthday for this trip! i shouldn't spend so much to save for my bills, or i could get people's gifts or get stuff for me? mmmm decisions. i should be responsible and maybe get myself one thing and then others's stuff. well, it will be fun no matter what. later!!!

I wasn't thinking...

So to add to my previous blog of how I don't like small talk with people... well, i guess i wasn't thinking. Because, i have been applying to like everywhere, all online. they have these attitude questions, well it's all about how you interact around people and crowds. well,. i am going to make a point to be more positve and smily around people i don't know and enjoy this small talk. maybe it will help me get a reall job.. ya know.

it really pulls my chain when.... ya know .... grrrr@!

I have an irk. i hate it when somebody i live with insists that i do something when i don't . i didn't want to get up this morning, because i couldn't sleep only had 2 hours and tony needed his lunch put together. youknow who, said, oh well that's your problem. she said oh just do it and go back to bed, what' s the big deal. well, i will tell you what the deal is, it is hard for me to go back to sleep, sometimes. and them she said b.s can you believe that b.s. well, most days i can't i usually don't fall back asleep until like 7 and she totally insisted that she could hear me and knows exactly when i fall back asleep and that was it. like i was lying and don't know what the the fuck i am talking about. well, i am so sick of that and she knows i won't say anything back to her. well, maybe i should. oh it pisses me off. ok i am done. good bye!

Halloween nite

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

This is such a funny! i love gummy bears so much! how perfect! Well, i actually had a great halloween. I decided to dress up as a kitty kat to pass out candy to all the little kiddies. we usally have 150 kids, but i don't even think we got but 75. that's ok, it was still fun! I even did the full on make-up, sharon took a picture but i didn't on my camera, sorry girls! We carved pumpkins last nite and they well, they are ok. mine had stars and moons on it. Then i did the pumpkin seeds. My friend sabrine came over with her dog sweet pea and we all had pizza and chicken. We weren't so healthy. you know with all the candy and all. But yea it was fun cause tony even dress up as the devil. funny! any ways i hope you all had a good time and i am done eating candy, so good nite!

All hallow's eve

Usually this time of year is thought as sedentary. With the leaves falling, the air becoming cooler and the beginging of winter. Fall is a great time for harvest, of course trick or treating. With the carving of pumpkings, dressing up, and sharing the season of fall with friends and family. What does halloween really mean to me?
For me it's a time to celebrate the death of friends and family, we have lost along the way. According to the wiccan holiday "Sanhain" it is the night when the veil between the dead and the living is the thinest. Lighting candles with patchouli oil, placing them in jack o lanterns to lite the way for the dead. Celebrating with loved ones with some warm apple cider. It is the nite when the old god died, returning to the land of the dead while await the rebirth and yule. Also the time when the Crone goddess would go into mourning for her lost son, while leaving her people in darkness. It's a perfect time to get your divinitions done for the year and to make contact with the dead.
So that takes me to why this day is important and memorable for me. Exactly 5 years ago I lost a friend who was very lost. Tortured in his mind and soul and took his own life. It was a very devestating time for me. Feeling things I never thought were possible. Feelings of guilt, sadness and anger that I have never felt before in my life. It prompted me to be depressed have false judgment with other men and put my self in situations, I would otherwise not do. Over the years I have adjusted myself to knowing that I was definately in a grieving process and Ido not regret anything. Which has come to my vision of what he really was. How he was a talented artist. With his wonderful drawing and painting I had never seen in my life. His out there ways of how the world was going to end. I think back on it now and iImiss him. I miss how he made me laugh and feel. Just like a first crush.( okay so it was my first actualy relationshiop.) But, lately Ihave been thinking about him and it always makes me cry. So, this is why I decided to write about it. Because, he did hurt me in many ways, emotionally, physically, and every thing else in between. I try to forget it, i have definately forgiven him, but it still hurts. Maybe it's the pain of how he went out and I had to witness it. That sometimes I am visited by him in my dreams, it scares me to death, because that it the one reason I can't sleep or feel comfortable in totaly darkness. Afraid that i will see him. Is that crazy, I don't know, but that is one thing I can't let go of. So tonite, I am going to celebrate him for seeing all the good that he did bring me and what his death brought me. Then maybe I will be able to let go.
So tonight, and tomorrow, take a little time out to remember the loved ones you have lost, good or bad. Give thanks for your life and what theirs meant to you. But to also light the way for these souls, so they may find peace within them selves. And to put us all at peace on Sahmain. Greatest love peace and serenity to all. All hallow's eve!!!

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Excuse me, um... no thanks!!!

Is the world full of happy and angry people or chummy, always have to conversate to strangers people, and the others who really don't want to talk to strangers about stupid unrelated conversation? Well, i believe it's the latter. I am a happy go lucky person, but i also don't want to talk to people i don't know, about things that happend to them or whatever, when i am busy working or just shopping.I also think it's ridiculous to be called grumpy if you feel this way. I just don't think people should think of you as a bad or negative person, if you don't want to create small talk with every single person they know, it's friggen irritating. yea i do talk to people with they want to say hello or bless you, or excuse me, but to just talk about whatever when i don't give a crap. grrr. i think i want to just crawl back into my shell and trip people whenever they come around me. hahaha! but, seriously, does that make me a bad person? Should i totally revaluate my outlook on life, am i bitchy. well, whatever.

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MOVING?!

So i am feeling totally excited. tony and i might be moving, finally. back to anacortes! yea yea yea. we will be moving in with my friend christine into a 2 bedroom split level house, only 400 a month and 1/2 the utilities. so that will be awesome. and the bedroom we will have is like totally huge. we will have to share the bathroom with the shower and the kitchen is upstaris, but whatever. we also have a washer and dryer, cable, phone, internet, covered portch, a refrigerator down staris, and a room that i think i will make into a little living room, it will be sweet, also there is like 3 decks to groove on, when it's not raining,. and i will be living with chrissy. yea she has been doing really good at her job making like 1600 a month, getting her license back and her kids! very positive. her stupid boyfriend will be going away for a while, so i think this will be a great opportunity for us and her to get back on her feet and start over with her life, she needs it and so do we,. plus, it's only 5 minutes away from tony's work. but, i do need to get a job before we move in, so wish us luck,. because it will happen in a couple of months!